Crazy Love

That is what we are feeling. For a little boy whom we have never met, never held, never tickled, never rocked to sleep, never fed, never whispered I love you to...

I have wrestled with what the follow-up post would be to our announcement. Derek has asked what I would write about. Fundraising, timeline of paperwork, Christmas, Emily's 5th birthday on the horizon...all sorts of thoughts completely flood my mind. There are so many things to think about right now and so many things needing to be done.

For Christmas, Derek and I scaled way back on Christmas presents, as we have for a few years now, and on Christmas morning, he surprised me with two very thoughtful and precious gifts. One was a picture of Ivan. It is in the sweetest frame that has the word JOURNEY written on it and part of Jeremiah 29:11 across the bottom. It now sits on my windowsill in my kitchen:) The other was a copy of "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan with the very simple words, "I Love You!" written on the inside. Besides my children's sweet kisses and hugs Christmas morning, these two things were my greatest treasures that day! I had no idea how that book would begin to impact my heart.

I could quote page after page of that book. It has been just what I needed. I highly encourage you to read it...let it soak in. I promise you will love the Father and desire to know Him and follow Him in a whole new way. Crazy Love. That is what the enemy knows is welling up in us. That is what he wants to quench. He can't though. Greater is He that is in us...My God is big. My God is all powerful. My God speaks. My God is all knowing. The enemy has pressed in over the last few days and let me tell you he is real. Again, I am reminded of the love that my Lord has for His children and I am reminded that God always wins!

This crazy love that we have for our God, that transcends my understanding, is now a crazy love that we have for our son, yes our son so far away and so deeply placed in our hearts. Who else but our God could do that? Who else but a God who gave His son for us? Who else but a God that knew from the beginning of time this journey that we would be embarking upon? Who else but MY GOD? It is a crazy love indeed. A love that is changing all that I ever thought I knew about God. And it is good.

God's love for us was beautifully represented in our (almost) 5 year old daughter's heart as she quietly told me a little over a year ago that she wanted Jesus in her heart and she knew that she had to decide that for herself. She cried as she prayed with me as we laid in her bed together and told me that she knew she needed Jesus and how we needed to pray that Timothy would see he needed Jesus too...that he had sin in his heart and that only he could make that decision. She prayed, "God please let Timothy ask you into his heart too." Precious. Beautiful. So innocent. God has given us another responsibility. We are to care for Ivan so that he too will know the love that Jesus Christ has for him...the sacrifice made on his behalf. So that, even in his "differences" he will walk in a manner worthy of the calling placed on his sweet little life.

I think Ivan is going to change lives. My life. Derek's life. The life of our children. Our friends' lives. Far-stretching to people that we may never encounter in this life. And...I believe that other precious and innocent little souls will be rescued out of lives lived in orphanages and will meet their forever families because of Ivan. God is moving. So is the enemy. But this is what God promises us...

I will carry you when you are too weak.

 

I will speak truth in love to you and reassure you with My Words.

 

My Spirit will wash over you and make you new every day.

 

I will rejoice with you.

And I will hold you with My righteous hands and never let you go.

No doubt that this crazy love that we have for the Father will lead us into some unknown places, but we know that He is already there and already made the way.  For this reason, we move on.  Steady.  Strong.  Unshaken.  And truly in love. Oh how I love Jesus!