Stella Grace is 1!

I am so thankful, so very thankful for technology.  Tonight Derek was able to recover our pictures of Stella's Birthday party!!!  I had not realized that the pictures that I took on her actual birthday were on the card as well.  Had Derek not been able to recover them, we would have nothing!  I realize it may seem trivial to be so emotional over pictures when there are such bigger things going on around us, but for this seemingly small thing, I am so glad!

Now on to our baby girl's celebration!  We had such an absolutely wonderful time celebrating the first year of Stella Grace's life!!  Stella is such a fun little girl.  She has so much personality and is the happiest little munchkin.  To hear her cry could just rip your heart out because it just doesn't happen very often.  Although, she definitely lets herself be heard!  She rarely cries but has a very loud little voice. 

Stella loves to explore.  She is taking about 5 steps at a time right now and is all over the place, even conquering the stiars...yikes!  She is also really tiny, much smaller than her brother and sister were at that age, still wearing 9-12 month clothing.  But she is very strong....I guess all of our children are like their daddy in that gene department!  I was shocked about 2 weeks ago when she climbed up on Timothy's bed all by herself and she can climb up to the 2nd step on Emily's bunkbed ladder, though I try to discourage that!:) 

Currently she is trying to talk a lot.  Her favorite words right now are "dada" and "ni-night."  She also says a Korean baby word for food "MaMa", "all done", "Bear Bear" (our dog), "puppy", and "baby".  She is also signing the words please, more, all done, eat, diaper, water, and she blows kisses and loves to wave.  Recently everytime she wants her drink she does the cutest thing where she moves her tongue back and forth between her lips...oh my word, it is so cute! 

Most of all, Stella LOVES to laugh!!!  She is so playful and giggles all of the time.  I can just look at her with a silly face and she cracks up!  She is just such a joy and source of light in our family! Her brother and sister adore her and Derek and I are completely smitten.  Stella Grace has brought so much love and laughter and sweetness into our home!  I think about her first name a lot, which came from my great grandma Stella.  The first thing that comes to mind when I think about her is how sweet she was and it makes our Stella's name even more fitting!  Her great great grandma Stella would have just eaten her up! 

Stella's actual birthday was July 12 and I took the kids to the pool that day, which ended up being not very fun due to weather.  But we ended the day with dinner and SG's first ice cream cone...and she ate the WHOLE thing!  Did I mention that to be so petite, she LOVES to eat!?!  Stella's birthday party was the following weekend and we had so much fun.  We have wanted to do Korean BBQ for each of our children's first birthday parties, which always tend to be a bit bigger, and this time we finally did it.  Derek's mom worked so hard that afternoon and they were only here for 2 days.  Everyone loved it and it was a really fun time. 

Although we didn't have an official "Dohl" for Stella, which is the traditional birthday celebration for Korean children on their first birthday, we did the fun little part where we put different items out on a blanket and waited for Stella to crawl to something.  She chose the microphone (which is obviously a modern addition to a traditional ceremony) and it could not have been more fitting!  Emily chose a computer mouse and Timothy chose a ball....all very appropriate:)   And in case you are wondering or new to our blog, my handsome hubby is half Korean. 

We of course ended Stella's party with cake!  She loved that part, of course.  We were so thankful for all of the friend's that joined us to celebrate the first year of Stella Grace's life.  It was truly a fun day filled with lots and lots memories.  One of the funniest was when the balloons on Stella's highchair accidentally floated peacefully away and Timothy totally LOST it!!!  I had told him that he could have one when the party was over and his sleep deprivation mixed with the balloon escape put him over the edge (funny pic below:). 

With the soon addition of another big brother for SG, my heart is very very full!  Life with multiple young children is challenging, no doubt (and I sure hear this a lot..."wow you have your hands full!").  But I will say that this season of life is filled with truly seeing the goodness and grace of God Daily!  I am so flawed and have so much to learn about being a mom that chooses to seek the Lord and His wisdom and patience every day.  One of the reasons that I am so grateful for the gift of my children is that God uses their little lives to constantly put my sin and selfishness before me.  Without them, I would really be a mess.  The Lord uses them to change me and humble me on a daily basis. 

What a blessing to celebrate a whole year of health and blessings with Stella Grace!!!  We are thankful for her life and all she has brought to our family.  We love you Stella...you are one sweet little pumpkin!!

Now for the pictures...probably went overboard, but figured Stella doesn't get enough blogtime anyway so here goes:) 

Waiting on the thunder to stop so we can swim

First ice cream cone...she ate it ALL!

He is such a goofball!

This was so yummy!

SG's cake table (we tried to sneak one in there for her daddy too who had a bday just 4 days after hers)

Stella LOVES LOVES LOVES her daddy!!!

Could eat her up!

Emily sweetly holding our youngest guest, Gabe.

No words for this one....thank you Rebekah!  Her photography is simply amazing and she snapped this one (and others) for us!

Precious little girl!

Choosing the microphone.

Poor distraught little guy.

First cake...yummy!!!

My mom made these beautiful cake pops...so delicious!

What a mess she made!

Opening a few presents.  Her dress was a gift from Uncle Sean last Christmas.  I am still amazed that he picked it out.  She was so cute in it!

Happy Birthday Stella Bella!!!  You are SO loved!!!

Our Baby Girl Had a Fun 1st Birthday!...

too bad I can't show pictures to prove it.

As I loaded the SD card in the computer last night to post on sweet little Stella Grace's first birthday party, my heart sunk!  The computer kept saying that the card needed to be formatted.  What?  So I put it back in the camera to see what would happen....said the same thing.  I had just used the camera with that card the day before so I was baffled.  All to say that we think there is a good chance that the pictures from Stella's very first birthday are lost.  I honestly am trying to keep perspective about that but I really feel like I could throw up.

If anyone has ever had something similar happen and you have an idea of how to save or retrieve the pics, please le me know.  I am just sick about it and want so badly to have those memories of our baby girl's fun day!  Thanks in advance if anyone has any idea of how to help.

Missing This Sweet Face Today...

Looking forward to more of this...

and this...

and definitely this...

I really miss our boy today!  Derek was really missing him last night and watched video after video of him.  Good news is that our secondary dossier for court is hopefully getting sent to his country today!!!  Pray for a quick date to get scheduled and for the 10 days to be waived! 

And to my very thoughtful hubby...thanks for taking these precious pictures that I will always cherish!  They are such a gift!  I love you!!!

Stella Grace...Our Growing Girl!

It is hard to describe just how much love we have for this little girl!  And today our baby girl turned 1!!!

All day long, I kept thinking at different times what I was doing this time last year.  Since Stella's birth was a planned homebirth, it was a really special day.  It was an incredible day for our our family as a whole and it was filled with moments that I will always treasure. 

On July 12 last year, I found out that God made me really strong.  He made my body able to perform some really amazing things.  Things that I honestly never thought I could get through.  I also gained a new level of admiration for my husband as he literally had to be daddy, husband, nurse, everything!  I could not have made it through Stella's labor without him.  He is always my encourager.  I wasn't in a hospital with nurses and we were at home with all of our children and he was told sternly that I was not to get up unassisted for at least 24 hours.  He was wonderful!  He did everything he could have and more to make it an incredible experience. 

God gave us the sweetest gift in Stella Grace that day 1 year ago!  She is just an absolute pure joy.  My cuddly sweet Stella.  Her laugh is the cutest thing ever and she laughs all the time.  She is so smart and amazes us everyday with how she tries to talk and communicate.  She loves Emily and Timothy so much and boy is she ever a Daddy's Girl!  Just today she cried her eyes out when Derek left for work and handed her to me...the cutest thing!  I can't say enough how about what she has brought to our family.  I love thinking about who she will become and what her personality will be like later.  We are seeing little glimpses now and I feel like I just can't get enough of her.  She is a doll!

We have so many hopes for our baby girl!  We pray that her heart would turn to her Heavenly

Father at a very early age!  And that all of the ways that God has gifted her, Stella would turn back to Him for His purposes and glory.  I pray that she would be confident in who God has made her, yet extremely humble!  I pray that she would serve others joyfully and be absolutely reckless in her obedience to the Lord's plans for her.

Happy 1st Birthday to our precious little girl! Stella Grace you are such a sweet sister and daughter!  We love you immensely!

This is what we get to cherish with this munchkin on a daily basis! 

I can't even begin to imagine what the years to come with this little one will bring!:)

Home...

We are here.  And we are very tired.  I will share more later on our sleep "issues" while away...funny stuff.

It is good to be home and wonderful to see our children, who I might add are definitely "transitioning" to Mommy and Daddy being back!:)

Lots of laundry, playing with our munchkins, email catch-up, going back to work, grocery store, doctor appointments, fundraising, dossier work...lots going on.  I may be absent for a few days.  But we will be back and refreshed soon:)

Love to all of you and keep the prayers coming!!!  Oh and I have contacted the winners of the bigger giveaway items and will let you know in the next couple of days if you won  a necklace...there were 6 winners and I will post them hopefullly tomorrow.  Thanks everyone!!

At The Airport...Flight On Time!

Yay!  We are here...safe and sound!

Our flight is on time to leave Mos*** at 12:55pm while most of you all sleep.

Thank you so much for your prayers.  It is so bittersweet to leave, but I am dreaming of the day that we board this plane with our little munchkin!!!  God is good and so gracious!

Our time here has been amazing.  Yet, we are so excited to see our children and to hear the English language...haha!

Hope to be back in good ole R****a in no more than 8 weeks!!!

4am Here and We Need You To Pray!!!

Hey Everyone!

I am sitting in the hotel lobby and all I could think to do was ask you all to pray...

We have to drive to the Mos*** to catch our flight.  It is about a 6 hour drive.  We tried to check out at the hotel this morning and to our surprise, the banks CLOSE here at night (it's obviously the only thing that closes) and they couldn't run our card!!!  Thus we can't check out of the hotel until we pay. 

Derek just left with our driver to find an ATM and try to take out cash and I am here by myself in the lobby.  Please pray for our travel back home and that we get to the airport safely, that our driver would be alert, that Derek can get some cash out so we can leave, and that we can make our flight.  I will try to update before we leave!

Our Last Day With Ivan...We'll Be Back Soon!!!

We have lots of pictures today. I don't have many words though. 

Our time with Ivan was simply wonderful.  We really feel like even today that he was different with us, making the goodbye that much more difficult.  The last picture is one of Ivan's caregivers and it was a gift from the Lord that she was there with him today.  You can tell she really loves the children.  She has been there for 25 years. 

Here was our morning.

Please Pray for Us!

Well here we are...the eve of the night that we prepare our hearts to say goodbye, hopefully for a very short period of time.  It is such a strange feeling to be so excited to return home to our children yet so heavy hearted and burdened because we have no choice but to leave another of our children. 

Although, we will be here all day tomorrow, we will only get to see Ivan once in the morning.  The director and other staff are off because of the weekend and she has very graciously allowed us to come back one time without them being there.  We are grateful because I was not ready to say goodbye today.  Of course tomorrow won't be any easier. 

Please pray for us!  You could pray for the obvious, that we would be comforted. But, also please pray for our son!  We can really tell that even today he was responding very differently to us and we hate to leave.  We don't want there to be days where he is laying in a crib.  Also, please pray for his health, that he would remain well and strong until we return.  Finally pray that the remainder of the paperwork goes very quickly.  My goal is to have it sent back withink a week.  That means a lot of preparation and then a trip to the county clerk for county authentication and then to Nashville for Apostilles.  It will be a lot of work and time, all while getting back into the groove at home and loving on our babies, who we have missed immensely!!  The sooner we get home and get this stuff done, the sooner we come back for our son!  And finally pray for the remaining finances.  God will provide...He has been so faithful providing exactly what is needed at every turn!  Here is some of Day 4 with our son!:)

We could not be doing this without all of you!  Thank you for your support, your emails, prayers, donations, taking care of our children, your tears of joy...it has blessed us greatly and because of your sacrifice, we are closer to bringing Ivan home!

Great Videos to Share!

We will update more later, but we couldn't wait to share these precious videos today!  We got to greet Ivan first thing when we arrived this morning and got it on video!!  Then we got to see him play a bit in the HUGE crib that is in a play area.  He was showing off a bit:):)  THEN, we got to see him being fed.  It was actually not very easy to watch for this momma and daddy.  It was softened though by his caregiver who, you can tell, really loves him.  She was making him smile so big and we were able to laugh at that instead of being horrified at the rate at which the food was being shoveled into his little mouth.  Oh how I just can't wait to get this boy home into our family!  Pray hard friends!!!

Just Videos...

for your viewing pleasure!  I figured what better thing to wake up to right?:)  Enjoy our little monkey!  We are off to see him again right now...3pm our time:)

Fun New Things With Our Peanut...Day 3

Today was a really fantastic day!  We started the day with stopping and getting some medicine for Ivan's Baby House.  The director also the doctor told our facilitator about medications they needed...very basic items.  We spent $130 and had a full bag of medicine.  They were so thankful when we gave it to them!

Our time spent with Ivan today was really wonderful.  We were able to spend time in his play area and see and talk to the other children in his groupa.  It was also really warm outside and so that time with him was really enjoyable as well.

While we are with Ivan each day, there is not a place to put him down and let him play.  Outside doesn't provide that opportunity and there is a room where we can take him to play but the floor is not very clean and he never goes outside, so we have tried to take advantage and not stay in that room.  Today when it was time to leave, we took him to his caregivers and they put him in his crib where they play.  We got pics and video.  But much to our surprise, he sat up!!!  And then he got on his hands and knees and started rocking!  We couldn't believe it!  It was the sweetest surprise!  We had tried to sit him up on a couch a couple of days ago, but he was unable.  I guess that in his environment where he was able to move around, he is more comfortable.  Regardless, we were thrilled to see him do that.  The child in the crib with him is Sasha.  Sweet little guy is much smaller than Ivan and not even 2 months younger.  He stayed on his back the whole time.   Our Ivan sort of tackled Sasha...he is going to fit right in with our crew:) 

We also got to meet some of the other children.  One little boy that has been listed with RR is another Ivan.  He has Apert Syndrome and I was so happy to see him in person.  His caregivers say he is so smart and we witnessed that.  The video will speak to that as you can see him trying to pick up both cars we gave him.  We know that he is available for adoption and I would love to see his family come for him.  And I have waited to share this amazing news.  Do you all remember Nikita!  We have been advocating for him with RR.  We haven't met him BECAUSE HE HAS A FAMILY!!!!  He was adopted months back by a couple in Spain and they say he is doing so well.  He is even riding a bike!  Potential!  They all have it...no matter what that means, it is there.  I am going to try and see if they money raised for Nikita since we became his "Warrior" can be transferred to the other Ivan.

The reality sinks in a little more every day.  While the baby house is about as good as it could get there, substandard obviously by American standards, Ivan's groupa doesn't go outside and there are only 2 caregivers, if that, for many children, all with special needs.  And the bigger reality is that once these precious children are 4 or 5, sometimes 3 years old, they are transferred to institutions, not orphanages like the other "healthy" children.  The institutions are nothing like the baby house.  Can you even imagine what that would be like for one of these children?  I told Derek today that if they aren't walking and feeding themselves by the time they are transferred, what will happen to them?  Confined to a crib indefinitely. Honestly, the truth of that existence for these children that are now very real to me, haunts me.  They are no longer photos on a computer screen.  They are people with little souls that laugh and smile and cry.  God created each one of them in His image and what will become of them is very real if no one comes for them.  It would be Ivan's reality if we had not said yes to God, no matter the cost.  I pray that the people of God will respond.  What in this life is more important than this?  That is the question Derek and I had to ask ourselves last December.  The answer for us was simple, nothing.  There is nothing that could be more important, no excuse or reason that would allow us to stand before the throne of our almighty Father and say, "Yes Lord, we knew and we did not respond."  Nothing.  These children are worthy.  They have potential and they need a chance. 

Here is our day with our precious little peanut.  Every day, he responds more and more to us.  I tell you that any fear or apprehension of what the future looks like with Ivan in our family is daily replaced with an indescribeable love and connection.  He is our son...meant to be a Kramer from the beginning of time.  I am so grateful that God gave us the courage to say yes to Him.  What we would have missed out on is something I don't want to imagine.  See for yourself...:):)

Thank you all for all of your support!  It means so much!!!