Loving God Out Loud

What A Difference!!!!

2012-01-18T22:47:00.001-06:00

Do you all remember this sweet little face? This was the very first time that we laid eyes on our son! He was perfect! We were probably the first people to truly rejoice over his life. We were completely overjoyed and overwhelmed with emotion. To finally hold this precious little life in our hands was a moment we will never ever forget!

This photo was taken mid June 2011. I remember vividly how little he interacted, the lack of eye contact, how frail he seemed, how pale he was, his complete lack of muscle tone, the extreme coarseness of his very little hair, the unbelievable amount of "stuff" in his nose and ears, the dark circles under his eyes, his protruding "C" shaped spine, and the list goes on. And by many accounts, his baby house was better than lots of others. Can you even fathom the least of these that are in the worst of the worst institutions? Honestly my heart and soul can hardly bear it.

And this is the redemption that Derek and I keep speaking of....the beautiful living breathing example of redemption right before our human eyes. This is our precious son! Can you even believe his little face? This photo is from Dec. 2011...just 3 months home with nutrition, love, touch, stimulation, WATER, sunshine, opportunities to explore, and did I mention love?!?:):) I will mention again that he hasn't even had a second of therapy yet (starts this month:).

If you are debating whether adoption truly makes a difference. If you wonder how adopting one child could possibly do anything to decrease the millions of orphaned children around the world. If you wonder how God could call you to rescue and give a home and be a family to the least of these. If you wonder where the money, time, and energy will come from. I ask you to remember that with our God ALL things are truly possible. God did not leave us as orphans. He rescued us! Adoption matters to our Lord. And, as followers of Christ, if it matters to Him, it should to us as well.

We rejoice over all that God is doing in Samuel's life! And we rejoice over the ways that we are forever changed by following the call to this little boy! To God be the glory! I pray we will walk in His ways no matter the cost or sacrifice as long as we have breath and that our children will continue that legacy long after Derek and I are in the arms of Jesus!

Very grateful that my husband was loooking through these photos from our first trip and made the comparison. It renewed my hope in all that God has done and continues to do. Thank you Lord for a Godly husband that stepped out in faith very courageously to bring our son home! And thank you Father...for redemption!

Over the last few months...

2012-01-16T23:15:00.000-06:00

our days have been super full!

From the time Samuel came home, we have had so much to share, yet I have not found time. I am completely determined to get back on track here!

Pictures to share include Samuel's Homecoming (finally got video I am DYING to share), Emily losing her first tooth, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Samuel meeting LOTS of family for the first time, parties with friends, the Nutcracker at TPAC, meeting Vika's family, Adoption Sunday, baking at Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas day, my birthday, Emily's birthday, and general every day craziness in our crib. Oh my and the list goes on and on!

I have decided that I will take the best of the best and just randomly post as often as possible. I hope one day to print this blog off for our children and I just hate to miss documenting a thing!

All of our children are growing up so fast. The days slip so quickly by and I am watching my children emerge into these little people that just blow me away! Each with their own personalities, likes, dislikes, laughs, cries...they are my biggest blessings. God has been so gracious towards me and Derek. Our children are just amazing!

And how is our newest little brother? He is like a different child. Yes, he still has some behaviors that are a painful reminder of his first 2 years of life. And no, we don't feel like we have yet to see his full personality bloom. But day after day, Derek and I comment on what a different little boy we see before us. I will continue to shout it loud, we are seeing redemption take place right before our eyes! We are bonding more and more and he is trusting us! The joy of that feeling is indescribable. He laughs with us and plays hard with his daddy! We still have hard days, but with lots of love and grace, they are getting fewer and fewer.

Samuel is also getting so much stronger, pulling up on his knees and keeping his legs together on his own with his back perfectly straight!!! Some of you may not know, but for 2 years he laid in such terrible positions that his lower back was arched. You could see the "C" shape of his spine without clothes. He had ZERO core strength and lots of bad habits to break. His spine has actually straightened in 4 months of repositioning and correcting the way he sits and lays, and of course, by encouraging him to move, encouraging his curiosity, and physically stretching him in ways he had never been moved before. The really impressive part is that he hasn't had even one minute of therapy! We are thankful for the way his body has strengthened and for the little boy that we see emerging. It is a small glimpse of hope that he will be all that God created him to be. Samuel was perfectly formed in the image of a very loving and perfect God...never an afterthought, never a mistake. What a blessing that he has been entrusted to us!!

I will let some of these pics do the rest of the talking.

I promise that I will be back soon!:)

After Adoption Sunday (our church did it later in Dec.) we had Christmas with my mom. She will kill me bc her eyes are closed, but I think she looks so sweet and joyful with all of her little blessings. All the kiddos were wearing "Adopted" tshirts as part of something we did at church with all of our adoptive families. Watch "Children of God" by Third Day on Youtube and that pretty much sums up why they were wearing the shirts! It was awesome!!! And our family was blessed to share our story of adopting Samuel with our church family....again an awesome experience! Go here to check it out!

Samuel and Stella at a Community Group party. He was such a handsome guy in that sweater!

What a cute little guy!

Stella Grace is a stinker and has more personality than I can describe! I LOVE this girl!

Sweet little kisses!

Samuel received a bear from sweet friends that adopted Vika from S's baby house. They gave it to Vika's family and the Jims sent it to us. Samuel immediately recognized it and laid on it. I teared up watching him. We will cherish this part of his past forever!!! Thank you Melanie!!!! And look at my precious Emily Paige! She is sweet as ever and growing up fast!

This is priceless!

My sweet Timothy! I could eat him up!

This was a very common occurrence at our house around Christmas (and still is). Samuel loves any kind of cords...super safe:), and Stella slightly enjoys antagonizing at times! He is learning to give it back!:)

Like I said, it's a game they enjoy!:)

Really Need to Catch Up!!!

2011-12-14T23:27:00.000-06:00

I feel like that has been the title of every post recently! I would so love to get completely caught up on our blog so that I can post frequently about daily stuff. Oh well, I can dream!

I haven't posted from as far back as Timothy's 3rd birthday so I have decided to post from there. Hopefully that will help me get caught up with everything in between because our first baby girl turns 6 in one month!!! How did that happen?

Here's how our 3 year old little guy spent his special day.

Awaiting his special present from his Mimi.

The long-awaited Imaginext Dragon Castle

A fun day celebrating Timothy with friends at the Discovery Center.

I know....a pathetic little cake:( This is what happens when you can't use dyed frosting to decorate a cake. I had to use something that could be removed easily since TK can't have red (or any) dyes. Timothy didn't seem to mind:)

Timothy and Sophie....such sweet little friends. They were tickling each other here:)

Love our little ones!

What a little nut! Our kids LOVE to dress up!!

Sweet Stella Bella!

Derek is the best dad ever...always found hanging out with multiple kiddos when our friends' little ones are around!

Saying goodbye to Sophie...she looks like she has had enough of his nonsense:)

Sophie's momma and my dear friend...she looks way too cool to be at a 3 year old's birthday party!

Emily always loving her time with her daddy!!!

Opening gifts back at home sent from Halmee and Grandpa in VA!

The beloved trampoline that was a joint gift from us and family for the kids.

The "Sprinkoline" never gets old

And this is what I LOVE about the trampoline! How did we EVER survive without it???

Ice cream cones on TK's actual birthday!

Our fun and sweet little man! I might note that he was in his usual attire here...no pants:)

Stella's first Nutty Buddy:) She LOVED it and ate the ENTIRE thing!!!

Timothy Kramer, you bring us such an immense amount of joy and laughter! We love that you are so spirited and always ready for an adventure. We love your desire to know more and more about God and His Word. We continue to pray that you will ask the Lord into your heart at a young age and that your "winsome" personality will lead people to Him! We love you so so much and can't wait to see you grow into a man seeking after God's heart!!!

Our Father's Love....Thoughts on Sacrifice and Calling

2011-11-08T13:39:00.003-06:00

Big shocker here....I am WAY behind on blogging. You know when you start getting emails and blog comments of concerns such as "you haven't posted in while....hope you guys are okay" you really need to carve out some time for updates.:)

We are really doing okay. I promise! I remember being so disappointed when I followed various family's adoption journeys and then they got home and stopped posting. The best part finally came and there were no updates....hahahaha!!!! Now I COMPLETELY understand why! We have been busy!

I have mentioned before but this is our first year homeschooling Emily. Enough said.:) And being that we now have 4 munchkins 5 years and under, well..... And add in LOTS of doctor appointments, paperwork, spending time together as a family, normal daily chores, Daddy having to travel, attempting to serve others when possible, Mommy getting to go on a Women's Retreat, busy weekends, Mommy and Daddy going away for a night (woohoo!!!!), and Mommy getting rear-ended with Samuel in tow (involving approx 8-10K in damage to our van, a totaled Tahoe, and ordering 4 new car seats) and you have one pretty busy household. I am quite sure I left some things out:)

We are seeing amazing things in Samuel! I have said it before but it truly is like watching redemption take place right before our eyes! He is different in so many ways and has only been home less than 60 days. We continue to see regression when our schedules are too full and he is exposed to too many new faces, but overall he is finally smiling and beginning to really trust us.

I think one of the hardest things to figure out is to sort through the reasons for behaviors because honestly we just don't know. Samuel is in a whole other "category" of adopted child. It is very difficult to find information on children that have been adopted with DS from Russia/Eastern Europe. We have read info on adopted children, info on children with DS, but not those 2 combined. At this point, all we really have to go on is other families (and wow the number is growing!!) that are in the same boat as us. I feel like we are all sort of in this murky water of uncertainty and honestly lots of times it just isn't easy. Not knowing the "whys" of behavior or what is the best way to help our children is very very hard. Add in the social responses when you leave the safe confines of home or church, and the simple fact that bonding takes time, and you've got a yummy recipe for "Adoption Ain't for Everybody" Soup!

I have said from the beginning that I want to be true to this process of adoption and what it truly looks and feels like. At the same time, there are some things that are best shared in smaller more intimate ways. The last couple of months have changed me more than I ever thought possible. I have had to draw near to the Lord in ways I didn't even know were possible...really. Every week, we participate in a local Bible Study called CBS (they are everywhere and I highly recommend:). Last week, our lady that lectures at the end, said something that resonated so deeply within my soul. She played the song by Selah "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" and spoke about what Christ's sacrfice cost.

This is what she said that struck me so deeply. "Jesus was brave and courageous to leave heaven to come and redeem us." It cost Him something....it cost Him everything! His Father even turned His face from Him. Can you even imagine? I listened to her words and let them really soak in. God's call on our family cost us something. We have officially left the "comfort" of our before life and entered into His will for us. It cost us all something and is still "costing" to bring Samuel into our family. Redemption isn't cheap! Jesus did what He had to redeem us. The picture of that and the truth of that is what spurs me on daily. I don't have enough of anything within me to carry out His will, and goodness do I DAILY need my Father's grace!! But He has called us all to lives worthy of His redemption, not saying that we have to work for it!!!! He GAVE us His life but His life was costly and in return our lives as believers and followers of a risen Saviour should be characterized, not by ease but by His love, and yes sacrifice!

Considering all of this right now, at the beginning of a month where God's people focus on the need for us to all step up and care for orphans in some way, has lead to real heart change in the day in and out for all of my children, but especially in my care for Samuel. Christ's adoption of us certainly was one of sacrfice and of bravery and courage and a letting go of "everything." Would He expect any less of us? Our choice has not been easy. If you choose to adopt, don't expect easy. And once you bring that long awaited child home, it actually gets harder than all of that waiting, fundraising, travel, and paperwork ever could have been. Bottom line, it's worth it. Totally and completely worth it. Our house has been downright ugly at times since beginning this journey and it has been so good for us. We are closer to the Father, utterly dependant, aware of our sins and selfishness, and thankful beyond words that He chose to redeem us when it cost Him everything!

The Father's love should compel us to live a life that looks very different from our own plans. That is something that I will wrestle with until I am with Him someday. I will continue to complain and ask God "why me?....I can't do this!!!" But He knows, He knows I can through Him, if only I lean in...utter surrender, utter dependence. I am thankful for this place, for His calling. Part of me never wants to leave the "hardness" of this season because the temptation of doing it without Him creeps in. Humility and dependence is good for me. God certainly knows that. I am learning to accept what He has called our family to and respond in complete surrender.

Exactly one year ago, I had no idea what I was praying. I couldn't have even imagained what would happen in the next year...in my heart, our family, my relationship with my husband and children. God knew though. And here we are. Hard? Yes! Exhausted? Absolutely! Stretched? Yes! Comfortable? Haha...Heck NO! But blessed? Oh wow, beyond measure! He called us because He loves us, and that my friends, is something I will never grasp!

In case you didn't know, it is Orphan Awareness Month. What might He be calling you to?

Pictures to follow, of course...promise! It will be worth it!:)

Locks of Love...With a Twist!!!

2011-10-21T01:54:00.002-05:00

There are so many families that I would love to help with fundraising for their adoptions!

Unfortunately I am lacking lots of things these days...time, talents, energy, money, mental stamina....to name a few. But something I do have a lot of is hair! Okay don't laugh! Stay with me here.

I have cut my hair for Locks of Love multiple times and I began thinking maybe I could use it to raise funds for a family in the midst of adoption. I kept thinking...SURELY someone out there wants to see me nearly bald!!! What a fun little way to raise some cash for travel expenses for this very sweet family that I love dearly!

Meet Brian & Priscilla Hogue...

They are a (current) family of 4 and are dear friends of ours. They are some of the most generous and sincere people I know. They walk out their faith very tangibly and we are blessed to call them our friends. We are praying so hard that they will bring their son home from South Korea very soon...and boy is he a cutie pie! I would love to blow them away with generosity as they blow others away on a regular basis!

So, I have between 10-12 inches and that would take my hair to a VERY short length.

This is how it will work. For every $100 that gets donated, 1 inch will come off. I have set the chip-in at $1,500. If more money is donated than I have hair in inches, I promise that I will go very very short! I am so scared to write that! But Derek and I love throwing out hypotheticals and I keep thinking that if someone walked up to me and said "hey I will give the Hogues 2K if you chop your hair off right now...will you do it?" Well, heck yeah I would! It's hair, it will grow back, right?!? haha! And what could be more worth it than bringing this absolutely adorable little guy home to his family?....Meet Jacob!

Oh my! I could eat this munchkin up! And I am partial because he is in South Korea and Derek being half Korean and all...well I just can't resist this face!:) Seriously, isn't he the cutest?!?

Once again, here is how it will work. For every $100 donated, I will cut off 1 inch of hair. If more money is donated than I have in inches, I will go super short! And the challenge will end in one month on November 20. So, you have until then to make me really regret this decision! LOL!

You can donate to the Chip-In on the top right of our blog.

Thanks in advance everyone....and spread the word! I know that the Hogues are grateful for every penny!

Here is the Hogue's blog if you want to keep up with their adoption.

Testing, Testing, Is This Thing On??????

2011-10-04T01:57:00.001-05:00

Safe to say this post has been mulling around in my head for quite sometime! If you are still reading and checking in on us, thank you!

The last month has brought me closer to God than I ever thought possible. Every day I am reminded of how much I need Him. And thankfully, every day He shows up.

We returned home on the 17th of Sep. and were greeted by an amazing sight at the airport. Friends came out very late at night to welcome home the newest Kramer with signs, flowers, cameras, hugs, stuffed monkeys, and lots of smiles and tears (mostly mine)! A dear friend that is a very talented photographer took some pics and I will post when we have them. I also hope to get video that was taken and put it into some type of creative video with music....haha....in all of my spare time:) We were truly overwhelmed and felt so cared for in so many ways!

Lots of you may know that Samuel went in for his appt. at Vanderbilt (the Down's Syndrome Clinic) for an appt. that we had scheduled before we left for Russia and had been home home just a few short days. They ended up admitting him that day for "Severe Dehydration, Constipation, and Malnutrition." We were there for 3 days and while I was with Samuel, my husband...Father of the Year!...was at home taking care of the 3rd child of the week vomiting profusely! And of course, you know what comes with that...LAUNDRY! Oh my dear husband! He is amazing! All beds were clean and everything disinfected when we returned home!

Basically, Samuel had not pooped for at least 10 days and the doctors believe from all of the blood work and x-rays that he existed these last 2 years in a constant state of dehydration and constipation. It truly breaks my heart. I won't go into detail (seriously, I almost took a picture!) but it took 2 suppositories, a full bag of IV fluids, a full enema, and 2 doses of Miralax for him to get it out!! Oh.My.Word!!! He is now on Miralax twice a day because his colon is so stretched from the constipation over the last 2 years. The hope is that if he goes once a day, it will eventually shrink and that could take many months, maybe a year.

We have gotten through some feeding issues, and although still not great, he is eating LOTS of new foods and drinking from a wide mouthed cup!!! Praise God....we are so grateful for that! And he finally LOVES the bath. To say he hated it at first is a gross understatement. Again, very grateful! He splashes like a wild man now.

As far as interacting with us and his brother and sisters, every day is better and better. We have days where he is less "smiley" and seems distant, but he has been home for less than a month and has been through so much change. We are constantly reminded that it will just take time. He also flinches and screams/crys less and less with any type of hygiene/routine care such as wiping his face, cutting his nails, diaper changes, etc... I can tell he is beginning to trust us more. I must whisper, "Mommy will be gentle" to him at least 20 times a day!

We hope to start therapy within the next month or so. Sweet boy has a long way to go and we cannot wait to see him grow more and more. Funny thing is that everyone keeps saying how different he looks and how much weight he has gained. Haha! I love it! He has actually lost almost 2 pounds...probably in poop!!! Seriously though, I think his body is actually using the nutrients he is getting and it is so cute to see all his new little sprouts of hair! His chest has filled in a bit and his skin looks less mottled to me. He is still a tiny little guy at 17 lbs and in 12 month clothing, but beginnning to grow! I truly cannot wait to see all that God has in store for this precious child!

All of the other little Kramer monkeys are doing great. Their love for Samuel is really a beautiful and very innocent picture of how amazing children think and respond. They act as if he has always been their brother...and in God's eyes he has. Of course, there are adjustments. Please know that it is not always rosey by any stretch, but overall all of our children are adjusting really well with all of the change. Emily is loving being homeschooled and we are finally getting into a groove. She amazes me daily! And Timothy is as much of a stinker as ever and truly melts me with his daily "I love you Mommy!" Today in the car he said, "you look really pretty today Mommy." Melt.My.Heart! And sweet Stella Bella...oh my goodness I cannot breathe enough of that little pumpkin in. She is truly intoxicating! From her infectious little giggle to her mischevious blue eyes, I could literally eat her up! I love my babies! Each of them brings something so sweet and perfectly their own to our family. Derek and I are blessed beyond my comprehension. God sure has been gracious to us!

As for me and Derek, we are stretching and growing closer in so many ways. We have never walked so closely and been in such desperate need of our Father. Derek is caring and very sweet, dedicated and loyal, tender and funny, a man that I never thought I would end up with. He is a gift. He challenges me and through this journey of faith and obedience, God has used Derek to teach me a lot! And praise the Lord!, we had our first real date the other night in a LONG time! It took 2 babysitters, but it was SOOOO worth it! Thank you Jessica and Juli...what a gift you are to us and our children!

Finally, I should mention that we have celebrated birthdays galore! Derek and Stella are in July. Timothy was in August (seperate post to come) and Samuel was in September. We had prayed early on with many friends that Samuel would be home by his 2nd birthday and it was such a joy to celebrate with many of those friends who are in our Community Group last Wed. night. Samuel turned 2 on Sep 28 and had his first chocolate cake. He fits right in because he LOVED it.!! We will have a party for him that literally anyone and everyone is invited to in about 2 weeks! More to come on that:)

Please keep us in your prayers. The transition is still on-going and I feel the enemy continuing to try and press in. God has been so faithful and so kind to us! I feel His presence at every turn very very deeply! I love my Lord so much and am grateful for all that He is doing in me, for refining me, and changing me! I am broken....BUT GOD!!!! He is faithful. He is true. He is so good.

Now for the pics! I know that's what you came for:):):) Enjoy them friends! And know that you ALL played a part in bringing Samuel into our family! He would not be here without you. Our eyes have seen what his future would have been and I cannot express the gratitude in our hearts that he is home and has a chance to thrive and grow into all that his heavenly Father created him to be! October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month in case you didn't know...pretty sweet timing, huh?!?:):):)

And I apologize, as much as I would love to caption every picture....well, it just isn't going to happen. Oh well, enjoy the pics anyway! They are chronological starting with our time in Moscow and then our first days home (pre-hospital stay) and then the photo where we are all on the blanket is the day our family was finally all together again. Everything that follows is in order all the way up to our zoo trip this past Sat. together as a family!

Friends....

2011-09-09T14:59:00.000-05:00

Just a quick comment about us coming home!

Please know that while we are so excited to celebrate with you all and see your faces, we KNOW that our flight is very late and that Nashville is a good little hike from the 'Boro. Most of you will have church the next day and we totally understand all of that!

We will have plenty of time to see everyone, so if you can't make it to the airport, please feel the freedom in not coming. We so mean that!

This has changed our lives on every level! As I told a friend before, we will need you all in the hours, days, weeks, and months to come and the airport is just one night...a joyful night, but indeed one night! We are humbled by your ongoing support, love and care for us! We can't wait for you to meet our son...whenever that may be! We love you all so very much!!!!

So from our last night in Russia...Paka, Paka!!!

Home never looked so good!:)

Literally a Miracle!!!!

2011-09-08T13:21:00.000-05:00

This never happens!

I still can't explain what all has taken place over the last few days.

We were originally supposed to arrive home on Wed. Sep 14 @ 9:50pm.

Today we officially changed our flights!!!!!

WE WILL BE HOME ON SAT. 10TH @ 9:50PM!!!!

I can't believe it and don't know how it all happened...seriously!

We are humbled and thankful and can't wait to see our kids at home and for everyone to meet Samuel!

Love you all! Hope to see you very soon!!!!!

Sharing Pics!

2011-09-07T14:41:00.000-05:00

I know none of you came to hear me ramble so I will get right to it!:)

Samuel is eating a bit better and finally drinking. We are seeing some self-soothing behaviors and sometimes he is most comfortable in his crib (thank goodness the hotel had one), which quite honestly is really hard for me. It is a harsh reminder of where he has spent many many days. Let me just be frank, I don't care how "okay" a baby house or orphange looks, IT IS NO PLACE FOR A CHILD!!!

The last few days have been incredibly busy. It looks like we are getting out of the country really fast, which is amazing. That is whay we are so exhausted and a bit weary. We think there is a very real chance that we could be leaving on Sat.!!!! We should find out for sure by tom. and if so, we will go to the airport and change our flights. I might have to sell a kidney for the airfare but it's all good...We want to get Samuel home! He has an appt. with the DS clinic at Vandy next week and we are so thankful it is so soon!

We will let you know if our arrival is going to be on Sat.! Pray hard!

Leaving court...finally the parents of Samuel James Kramer!

Picking Samuel up at the Baby House and saying goodbye.

Final walk through these doors!

In the car....not sure what he thought about that.

Back at the hotel in Smolensk.

Trying out his new spoon.

He has the sweetest little feet.

The sippy cup...that he won't drink out of:)

Flexible little guy....he has very little muscle tone in his legs.

He self-soothed for a long time to get himself to sleep:(

Asleep in Moscow...was pretty worn our after the last 24 hours.

Sweet dream buddy...you will be home soon!

Gotcha Day!!!!!

2011-09-06T12:58:00.000-05:00

Guess who I am currently watching snooze away?

Ivan officially became Samuel James Kramer today! We have the passport and birth certificate to prove it...that's right. All.In.One.Day!

We can officially shout from the rooftops the miracle that took place. Our 10 day waiting period was waived!!! That means that today we picked our son up from his baby house...more on that later...and we will be leaving on a train back to Moscow tonight!!! You read that right....TONIGHT! Samuel will have his medical exam in the morning if all goes well.

The next days will be long especially with Samuel in tow. Everything that has ever been "normal" for him is now very different. From food, to sleep, the way we smell and sound, our touch, his routine, the children he grew up with...all very different. In the long run, it is a change that will bring life and love to this precious child...our son! But in the interim, we know things will be difficult. We can already say that he did not enjoy the shower (couldn't do a bath, and don't know if he has ever had a full one) and he really doesn't like what we tried to feed him:(

Please pray that we can find something he likes to eat and that we can keep him well hydrated!

We cannot believe he is with us! And we are in awe of everything that the Lord has done!

We will share more on court and our day later. We have to pack to get on the train and are hoping that Samuel will drift easily back to sleep:)

More tomorrow!

A Truly Incredible Day!

2011-09-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

Woke up early today...4am. A bit difficult to stay in bed.:)

Had breakfast with a really handsome guy. Took a really long walk around an entire city with the same handsome guy.

Then we waited...and waited...and waited. All totally worth it!

Around 3 pm we headed to the only home that our son has ever known. I was actually breaking a sweat in the car driving down the bumpy road.

We joyfully delivered a plethora of donations. WOW!!! is all I can say!

Pretty sure the director's face conveyed the same thoughts. We had the honor of telling her that it all came from many many people!

After a brief chat with the director, we walked to our son's room. Words can't describe the joy, the relief, the sheer emotions of the moment. We didn't think to take a picture at that moment, but his smile was enormous! And then he was in his sweet Daddy's arms...guaranteed the strongest, most gentle loving arms that have ever held him!

He has grown a bit and developed. He is sitting up with more strength. He is more animated. He still loved his mommy's hair...don't think I will EVER cut it now!

And then Mommy got some sweet time with this precious little miracle.

And if all of this wasn't good enough, we got to play with this little pumpkin that made us laugh so hard! And I got the privellege of whispering in her ear, "your mommy and daddy are on their way."

Then more time watching our son explore on the FLOOR!!! I was so excited about that! And as if God had not given us enough today...our favorite caregiver was there. A precious precious woman I tell you! She is full of joy and laughter. She works so hard with these little ones! For over 20 years she has served children that could never say "thank you"! She is a gift to us...a gift to our son!

And then there was this sweet and gentle but very REAL reminder, when we leave with our son whom God chose for us, we leave behind these sweet faces...

and the thing is, there are more just like these two. They are desperately waiting for a mommy and daddy, for a forever family...waiting to not be outcasts. I stroked the faces of these children today. The touch of my hand calmed a sweet little soul today. That was all he wanted. Cerebral Palsy left him unwanted and now he and others lay in cribs for hours on end waiting.

While we enjoy all that God has given us, I ask you boldy, has He called you? Has he nudged your heart and you think the calling is too great? It just takes a tiny seed of faith. You know that Bible stuff is actually real. He just wants a little bit of faith...He will do the rest.

Our house can't hold 6 people...by most people's standards. Our calendar is really busy. Life is really full. My children our really young. My husband only makes this much money. We don't have THAT kind of money. Our 401K needs to grow. I will lose my "ME" time. We might not have an empty nest. Getting out of our house is going to be A LOT of work. Vacations may have to wait and may never come. I will never get my laundry done. People may look at me funny in public. My "other" children will be affected. He might need serious medical care and therapy. My relationships with others might change.

Ashamed to say...I have thought it all.

There is nothing unusual about me or Derek, nothing exceptional. One of my dearest friends just released her newest album and there is a song called "White Page." You can listen to the actual song here: http://www.tanyagodsey.com/lyrics.html

"You and I we write our lines with seven days a week And in the twenty-four that each day stores we hold possibility

But when we pull the shades our page is blank We chalk it up to progress a better story waits another day lost to the T.V. set

We're just a white page We're just a white page The story of our days Is like a white page

Do our lives leave much space for the the hand of a writing God To create to sign His name on us when the work is done

Because the ink we hold is not our own time takes the ending And so the sun has set on my discontent Cause I don't want to leave

Another white page Another white page No the story of my days Won't be a white page

In hope, in faith, in suffering we are the truth this world will read Love strikes the page, we're reckless marks we're lines that write redemption's song

When we part with life there's one long page tucked into yesterday And the lines that keep once we've fallen asleep are etched in eternity

On a white page On a white page The story of our names They're on a white page

No won't leave a white page No the story of my days Won't be a white page"

I love the line that we are the truth this world will read...we're reckless marks...we're lines that write redemption's songs!!! Christ tells us very plainly in His word, "And the King will answer them (speaking to those on His right...the righteous vs.34) 'Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' (Matthew 25:40) As I watched with my own eyes what the touch of my hand brought to these tiny little bodies so in need of love and care and affection, I thought of how I will stand before an almighty King one day and I pray that He will be pleased with me. I prayed over a child of His and wept begging God to either bring him a family or take him home.

My heart and my soul are forever changed. This journey has not been easy and it hasn't been without great cost and sacrifice on many levels...and believe me when I say that the enemy has been lurking at every turn. Greater is He that is in me (and you) than is in this world. I pray that I will live my days, not perfectly, but with eternity ever present and etched deeply in my soul.

Obedience is a funny thing...as we walk more and more closely with the Father, He reveals just how much this life is not about us. I pray that as we all lay our heads down tonight and tuck our children in, we will all beg God to reveal what He might be boldly asking of us and that we won't be afraid to take that first step of obedience!

Tonight while you sleep, we will be in court with our God going before us as He has done for many months now, asking for favor...asking for there to be one less little boy without a family. So thankful we said yes to this journey...Not one single regret!

Gotcha Day tomorrow friends...Samuel's last night in the Baby House! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

We Are Here!!!...Round 2!

2011-09-04T12:09:00.001-05:00

After more than 25 hours, we are here at the hotel! It felt very surreal driving back into the city and actually recognizing things and knowing where we were going. Being back in Samuel's city is really wonderful!

So here we go again. One difference this time is that there will be no goodbyes! We get to see Samuel around 3pm tomorrow, which is around 7am TN time on Monday. We will be taking the clothes and shoes that were donated. Also, we will take the unbelievable amount of medicine (can't wait to post those pics tomorrow)! After speaking with the director tomorrow, we will purchase multiple boxes of diapers and deliver them on Wednesday. Please pray with us that somehow they will see the hand of God in this generousity from His people and that it will stir their hearts. We pray that they will question why people would do this for these precious children and that we will be able to boldly proclaim Christ and the work of His hands!!!

We miss our sweet babies at home and of course it was so hard to leave them. We know they are in good hands and that from the beginning of time, God had this road intricately planned, down to every detail, for our family! We have peace in that. Our hearts our humbled at the work of His hands and His absolute sovereignty! His name is truly mighty to be praised and I so pray that while we are here His praise will continually be on our lips!!! Thank you to each one of you for all of the ways you have involved yourself in this journey, which much sacrifice. The beautiful part is that we get to speak of what God did and is doing and that He is actually using us....that blows my mind!

I have had this song on my mind for weeks and a sweet friend spoke words of encouragement to me the other day. The words she spoke were almost word for word the verses of this song that have permeated my heart and mind.

"You are God alone from before time began, You are on Your throne, You are God alone"

You all know the rest I am sure and if you don't look it up on YouTube!:) The words of this song speak so strongly of who God is! "You are not a God created by human hands....You are not a God in need of anything I can give. You are God, that's just the way it is!"

Please pray that paperwork is speedy. Also, we will be in court while most of you sleep. Our court appointment is Tuesday at 10am here....1am in TN!

Thank you friends for loving us and walking steadfastly with us! We love each and every one of you! More tomorrow!:)

Fun Little Giveaway!

2011-08-28T01:01:00.001-05:00

A sweet friend gave us a fun thing last week to give away on our blog hoping to raise the last little bit to bring our munchkin home. I can't believe that this time next week we will be in route to see him, hold him, and bring him home!

We have an Insignia Digital Picture Frame. It is black with a wide format and the screen is 7". It retails for $79.99. The resolution is 480x234 and has 128 MB of internal memory.

If you would like to get in on this giveaway, you can enter by donating $5. For every $5, we will enter your name once into a random drawing. Be sure to email me! And you can give on the chip in on our blog OR by clicking on Ivan's pic on the right hand sideabar (scroll down) thru RR.

Since we are leaving in less than a week, the drawing will be on Thurs. night so that I am able to mail it on Fri. before we leave.

Here is a pic:

Thanks for considering! And btw...thank you to whomever gave today thru RR! That was a very sweet surprise tonight!

Travel News!!!!

2011-08-25T00:47:00.000-05:00

I can still remember receiving the email last December from our soon to be adoption agency outlining all of the many documents that were needed to adopt from Ivan's country and region, not to mention the hours of online courses and books to read. Only hours before I had gotten another similar email from our homestudy agency. The feeling was completely overwhelming. I remember thinking (and probably saying out loud), "how will we ever do this? I don't know how we will get all this done!" I wasn't even considering the money in that moment.

Little by little we chipped away at it. We hung our only picture of Ivan in the kitchen with check off lists and celebrated everytime something else was completed. Step by step, we did it! And now here we are, 9 months later.

Yesterday morning, I laid in bed debating whether or not to check my email. Finally, at 6:45am, I logged on and the tears came. I read aloud to Derek that we had a date, an official court date and time.

We will stand before a judge in less than 2 weeks on Sep. 6 at 10am (1am here) asking permission for Ivan to be our son forever!

Because of time change and needing to be there to see him before court the day before, we will leave here on Sep. 3! That is 1 week from this Sat.!!!! Can we say that complete freaking out is totally called for?!? We have so many things to do. My head is swimming with the details...childcare, meals, last minute purchases (pack n play, sling, etc.), gathering donations for his baby house, apostilling extra documents, confirming airfare, details of travel, and on and on. Only by the grace of God!!!!

Thank you all for praying with us and rejoicing with us during this time! Ivan Samuel coming into our family is happening because many many people stepped in and made it happen...a beautiful picture of sacrifice and obedience. Thank you just doesn't do it! Just.So.Grateful.

We can't wait for you all to meet him! Right now, we are estimating that we will return on Sep. 14th. We would love to see as many of you at the airport as possible. I can't even believe we are at this part of our journey! We will keep everyone updated on our return information.

And because many of you have asked, our adoption t shirts are getting picked up tomorrow! I am so excited to see them. Also, we think that we are about $2000 away from being fully funded (we sold our car and that really helped, YAY!)...talk about a big God that we serve. It may seem like a lot to come up with in 2 weeks, but last Dec. I had no clue how we were going to come up with $30k plus! I can't even believe that we are almost there...so close! Our chip in is still open and this is important, if you want to give tax-deductible, our family page through Reece's Rainbow will only allow donations until he is home. Once home, we move to a different page and donating to our grant is not possible.

Finally, some of you have asked to help with donations for the baby house. Leaving many children behind will probably be one of the hardest parts of this final trip. What a beautiful thing it would be to leave them with many requested items!

Here is the list:

***Tyenol (generic is fine....need children's and infants)

***Ibuprofen (again generic is fine...children's and infants)

***Diaper Creme

***Hydrocortisone 1%

***Teething Medicine

***Pedialyte (they make a powder now that is mixed with water, obviously the bottles are too heavy)

***Cothing and Shoes

***Monetary donations for diapers (a large box that we would buy here between $25-30 is $50 + there)

Anything that you can donate will be such a blessing and I will be glad to pick it up. If you go to church with us, this will be our last Sunday before we leave. We are trying to figure out a good spot to drop off.

Thank you all for being on this journey with us. It has been a wild ride and God has shown himself to be so true and so faithful! May He continue to be glorified over and over and over again in all of the details!

Guess we'll have to wait...

2011-08-17T16:17:00.000-05:00

no news today and considering it is after 1 am there, I can safely assume that our facilitator has put her sweet little head to rest.

Oh well! I keep thinking that maybe the person that is coming to look at our car tomorrow will buy it and we will have a car sold AND a travel date all in one day!!!

My mind has truly been a battlefield today! The enemy has really tried pressing in, but God is good and I have focused on other things and had to choose to trust Him.

Here is looking forward to the possibility of tomorrow!

This little pumpkin sure is worth the wait! Father, please keep him well!

Please Pray With Us Tonight!

2011-08-16T16:35:00.001-05:00

Absolutely longing to hold this child again!

Friends!

We need you prayers! Our son and other children in his baby house need your prayers!

Our son's country is ahead of us by 9 hours...clock is on the right hand sidebar. So tonight as we are sleeping, our facilitator (incredible woman) will meet with the judge that we will soon stand before and ask permission for a court date so that we may ask permission to bring Ivan Samuel into his forever family!

Will you please pray that we have favor with this judge? Specifically:

***Pray that we will not have to submit any more paperwork! We have spent a little over $600 in document prep. and mailing in the last month or so.

***Pray that our court date will be soon!! From the very beginning, we have begged that God would allow him to be home for his 2nd birthday which is Sep. 28th!

***This is a BIG one!!! Please please please pray that Ivan's region will waive our 10 day waiting period, drastically reducing the time we are in country. That means so much if we don't have the 10 day waiting period...expenses, logistics with children at home, travel with Ivan Samuel, me being in country by myself, paying for childcare while I am away for 3 weeks, and on and on... Plus, I won't lie, I am a little scared to be there by myself for that long.

***Pray that our adoption swings the door WIDE open to more adoptions of children with special needs and of course with Down Syndrome in his region. Pray that God is glorified and magnified in our decision to adopt Ivan Samuel and that people will see HIS hands all over us and this story of redemption.

***And please pray the judges heart will be soft towards us and families coming behind us in the same journey.

I can't tell you what your prayers mean and we will post as soon as we get word....oh Lord, please let that be tomorrow. Until we hear, we will attempt to rest in His perfect timing!

A Name For Our Son!!...and T-Shirts Unveiled!

2011-08-12T12:40:00.000-05:00

For many many months you have all known our son as Ivan. We have grown to love him as Ivan. Our hope and prayer was that there was some special reason that he was named Ivan. Oh how I had hoped that we would find out his birthmother had chosen his name before giving him up. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Ivan was born on Sep. 28, 2009 and his parents signed away their parental rights on Sep. 30, 2009 when he was just 2 days old. Our sweet son was given a very common name for an orphaned boy by the hospital. He actually is not even referred to at his baby house as Ivan. They call him Vanya, which would be like calling someone named John by Johnny instead.

After returning home, Derek and I quickly agreed that it never felt right calling him Ivan or Vanya while we were there with him. After lots of thought and prayer we decided that his name would change, that we would CHOOSE a name for our son who has been CHOSEN! We had always strongly considered Samuel as a middle name hoping we would keep Ivan. Instead, Samuel will be his new name...the name that his mommy and daddy have chosen for him, the name that we believe God put on our hearts just for him!

His middle name will be James. That name was chosen because of 2 things. We have been walking through and studying the book of Proverbs and James at our church and it has so changed my heart in so many ways. I still can't believe how perfect the timing was to walk through James! A dear family friend that is a faithful follower and lover of God is the other reason. His name is James, Jim to Derek's family. He even has a son adopted from Ivan's country. I have never even met him, but from all the letters we receive from him and the way he has prayed and cared for my husband, I know him to be a man that loves the Lord and follows after Him and we respect him very much!

So there you have it.....our son's new name will be Samuel James Kramer!!! So excited to see that in print! It will be a transition for everyone to start calling him Samuel....that is the hard part. And we know it will take awhile! We plan on calling him Ivan Samuel for a while and then eventually dropping Ivan.

So to celebrate the announcement of our son's new name, we have a little something to share. I have been sooooo excited to share this. We had been thinking and thinking about a t-shirt design and then one night Derek shared this image that he had in his mind. It was an image of a little person drawn as Ivan in his country and then lots and lots of people in the U.S. pulling him home to us. The main idea being that there have been so so many hands, so many people from all over that have helped to rescue our son. There is NO way that we could have done this alone! No way! If you have prayed, helped, given in any way, you are a part of this beautiful redemption story and we are grateful! So here it is:

FRONT

BACK

The shirts will be light blue with dark blue writing. On one of the sleeves, it will have Samuel James and Ivan in parenthesis.

Each shirt, regardless of size, will be $15. We will have youth sizes small through large and Adult sizes small through X-large! They are a "Modern Fit" meaning they fit a little more snug than a regular more boxy fitting t-shirt (keep that in mind when ordering).

We tried to keep the cost low so that the shirts would be more accessible to more people hoping and praying that Ivan Samuel's story would be heard all over and people will be moved to ACT on behalf of all orphans, especially those that are born with special needs.

You can send a check or order through the chip-in on our blog. If you would like to got through RR (tax deductible) route, you can do that too. This is the important part. Please leave a comment or let me know that you have paid, how you paid and what sizes you need. Obviously if you are not in my area, I will need a shipping address. My email is karenpkramer@gmail.com. With the start of homeschooling for the first time and a final court date and travel on the horizon, I could easily miss a payment if there isn't an email or comment that follows, so please don't forget that step.

I hope you all love the shirts. The people that did the art have been awesome to work with. Let me know if you want their name! I have just loved seeing Derek's ideas in print....so much fun. And I sure hope to see lots of people all over sharing how big God is and how He has used His people in the life of ONE CHILD!! He continally blows me away!

I sure hope our next post is about me freaking out completely because we have travel dates and have to watch God provide, yet again, at JUST the perfect time! Happy Friday....and weekend!!!

We Are Getting So Close!

2011-08-03T11:48:00.004-05:00

Well, some fun news to share. Unfortunately it isn't a court date...yet:)

First of all, Derek and I want to say that we are humbled beyond words. I feel like we have said that so many times that it could become trite, but there is no other way that we can think to express our gratitude for the selflessness that we have been drenched in!

The other day I just happened to check our Reece's Rainbow family page and when I saw the amount, I had to do a double-take. I immediately emailed Michelle (thanks Michelle:) and she sent me a list of new donors in July. We had some dear friends give us $600 at the beginning of July, so that large amount we knew about. (They were going to buy a new camera and God told them otherwise. I still can't wrap my mind around that one.) I had not expected to see the amount rise much after that because many of our friends have already given (and really sacrificed) and I have exhausted many of my pleas for help by way of FB and our blog.

Honestly, the asking for money part is just plain hard and I feel like we have tapped people out. We have had neighbors give us money and donated items for our yard sale and friends hold yard sales in different states (including Ivan's warrior), and a friend donate time, money, and energy to do photography sessions and then donated ALL proceeds. Immediately before our first trip to meet Ivan, we had donations coming from people all over and some checks were $300 or more, including a ridiculous donation from some friends that were in the midst of writing their own crazy ginormous checks for their own adoption. We had a yard sale, sold gold (haha), a big event on FB, giveaways through our blog, and a HUGE music benefit and unbelievable silent auction that so many of YOU helped with. I have contacted Chick Fil A about a spirit night and I have a couple of things that I am working on pertaining to grants. We are trying to sell cars...yes that is plural:) And I am sure that there are other things that we could be doing as well. And forgive me if I have forgotten anything that you personally may have done for our son....my brain is a bit fuzzy!:)

Unfortunately we are still not fully funded to travel once we get our court date, which should be very soon. So at this point the "asking" feels even harder. And because we are not "actively fundraising" I SURE did not expect our grant amount to go up! But I should have trusted and known that God is working even when we are not. He has been working on people's hearts and I have had NOTHING to do with that!!!

Derek and I were shocked, completely shocked to find out that we have a list of donors from July, whom we HAVE NEVER MET, giving amounts ranging from $10 to $715!!! Yes you read that right. And while I have no way of knowing who you are, I want to say thank you!! And if that wasn't enough, just days after finding that out, our friends donated another large amount. We are just blown away. God is spoiling us, beyond our wildest dreams, He is showing up in ways that I could not have ever imagined. We are so undeserving of all the support that you have shown us and we feel so blessed and loved! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

So if that wasn't enough fun for you to hear all that God is doing, I will share a couple of other things.

We have a name for our son!!! There are some wonderful things surrounding his name and we can't wait to share. But that will be a separate post. And I am so excited to say that I met with the nicest guy yesterday and he is designing shirts for us to sell for the adoption. They are going to be AMAZING! My awesome husband (he is so creative) came up with a REALLY REALLY cool idea that illustrates how many hands and hearts have sacrificed and given to change the life of the cutest little boy whom you have never met...thousands of miles away! Ivan's reality, without a family, would have been transfer to a really dark place with very little chance of survival. We have seen the truth of this and know it to be true. He is being rescued because of the obedience of many and ultimately because we serve a really HUGE God!!! The art (the people doing the art are awesome...be glad to share info) on these shirts will hopefully be a way to share about the mission of God and His love for orphans in a really tangible way!

I will post about Ivan's new name later this week...YAY! And I will be taking preorders for our adoption shirts...more to come on that later too.

We have started a new chip-in on our blog (not tax deductible...RR IS!!!) because the other one ended at the end of July. I had hoped we would be fully funded by then. We are about $10K away from what we need and that may be on the conservative side. We owe our agency another $5,500 and then we have all of our travel fees including flights, visas, Ivan's passport, birth certificate, medicals, lodging, travel in country, etc... We hope to use donated and personal miles for part of our flights next time so that could change how much we need. Also, we could be in R***** for about 7 days together OR Derek could be with me for a few days and then I would be there for close to 3 weeks. It all depends on if we get our 10 day wait waived...pray hard!! That is why we aren't sure about how much we still need. Like I said we are on the conservative side and the Chip-In is set for $8K. We will update as we get closer to our goal!

Again...thank you for giving and for your time and energy and mostly your obedience! Our family would not have been able to answer this call to rescue our son without you!!!

Stella Grace is 1!

2011-07-26T23:46:00.001-05:00

I am so thankful, so very thankful for technology. Tonight Derek was able to recover our pictures of Stella's Birthday party!!! I had not realized that the pictures that I took on her actual birthday were on the card as well. Had Derek not been able to recover them, we would have nothing! I realize it may seem trivial to be so emotional over pictures when there are such bigger things going on around us, but for this seemingly small thing, I am so glad!

Now on to our baby girl's celebration! We had such an absolutely wonderful time celebrating the first year of Stella Grace's life!! Stella is such a fun little girl. She has so much personality and is the happiest little munchkin. To hear her cry could just rip your heart out because it just doesn't happen very often. Although, she definitely lets herself be heard! She rarely cries but has a very loud little voice.

Stella loves to explore. She is taking about 5 steps at a time right now and is all over the place, even conquering the stiars...yikes! She is also really tiny, much smaller than her brother and sister were at that age, still wearing 9-12 month clothing. But she is very strong....I guess all of our children are like their daddy in that gene department! I was shocked about 2 weeks ago when she climbed up on Timothy's bed all by herself and she can climb up to the 2nd step on Emily's bunkbed ladder, though I try to discourage that!:)

Currently she is trying to talk a lot. Her favorite words right now are "dada" and "ni-night." She also says a Korean baby word for food "MaMa", "all done", "Bear Bear" (our dog), "puppy", and "baby". She is also signing the words please, more, all done, eat, diaper, water, and she blows kisses and loves to wave. Recently everytime she wants her drink she does the cutest thing where she moves her tongue back and forth between her lips...oh my word, it is so cute!

Most of all, Stella LOVES to laugh!!! She is so playful and giggles all of the time. I can just look at her with a silly face and she cracks up! She is just such a joy and source of light in our family! Her brother and sister adore her and Derek and I are completely smitten. Stella Grace has brought so much love and laughter and sweetness into our home! I think about her first name a lot, which came from my great grandma Stella. The first thing that comes to mind when I think about her is how sweet she was and it makes our Stella's name even more fitting! Her great great grandma Stella would have just eaten her up!

Stella's actual birthday was July 12 and I took the kids to the pool that day, which ended up being not very fun due to weather. But we ended the day with dinner and SG's first ice cream cone...and she ate the WHOLE thing! Did I mention that to be so petite, she LOVES to eat!?! Stella's birthday party was the following weekend and we had so much fun. We have wanted to do Korean BBQ for each of our children's first birthday parties, which always tend to be a bit bigger, and this time we finally did it. Derek's mom worked so hard that afternoon and they were only here for 2 days. Everyone loved it and it was a really fun time.

Although we didn't have an official "Dohl" for Stella, which is the traditional birthday celebration for Korean children on their first birthday, we did the fun little part where we put different items out on a blanket and waited for Stella to crawl to something. She chose the microphone (which is obviously a modern addition to a traditional ceremony) and it could not have been more fitting! Emily chose a computer mouse and Timothy chose a ball....all very appropriate:) And in case you are wondering or new to our blog, my handsome hubby is half Korean.

We of course ended Stella's party with cake! She loved that part, of course. We were so thankful for all of the friend's that joined us to celebrate the first year of Stella Grace's life. It was truly a fun day filled with lots and lots memories. One of the funniest was when the balloons on Stella's highchair accidentally floated peacefully away and Timothy totally LOST it!!! I had told him that he could have one when the party was over and his sleep deprivation mixed with the balloon escape put him over the edge (funny pic below:).

With the soon addition of another big brother for SG, my heart is very very full! Life with multiple young children is challenging, no doubt (and I sure hear this a lot..."wow you have your hands full!"). But I will say that this season of life is filled with truly seeing the goodness and grace of God Daily! I am so flawed and have so much to learn about being a mom that chooses to seek the Lord and His wisdom and patience every day. One of the reasons that I am so grateful for the gift of my children is that God uses their little lives to constantly put my sin and selfishness before me. Without them, I would really be a mess. The Lord uses them to change me and humble me on a daily basis.

What a blessing to celebrate a whole year of health and blessings with Stella Grace!!! We are thankful for her life and all she has brought to our family. We love you Stella...you are one sweet little pumpkin!!

Now for the pictures...probably went overboard, but figured Stella doesn't get enough blogtime anyway so here goes:)

Waiting on the thunder to stop so we can swim

First ice cream cone...she ate it ALL!

He is such a goofball!

This was so yummy!

SG's cake table (we tried to sneak one in there for her daddy too who had a bday just 4 days after hers)

Stella LOVES LOVES LOVES her daddy!!!

Could eat her up!

Emily sweetly holding our youngest guest, Gabe.

No words for this one....thank you Rebekah! Her photography is simply amazing and she snapped this one (and others) for us!

Precious little girl!

Choosing the microphone.

Poor distraught little guy.

First cake...yummy!!!

My mom made these beautiful cake pops...so delicious!

What a mess she made!

Opening a few presents. Her dress was a gift from Uncle Sean last Christmas. I am still amazed that he picked it out. She was so cute in it!

Happy Birthday Stella Bella!!! You are SO loved!!!

Our Baby Girl Had a Fun 1st Birthday!...

2011-07-26T15:42:00.001-05:00

too bad I can't show pictures to prove it.

As I loaded the SD card in the computer last night to post on sweet little Stella Grace's first birthday party, my heart sunk! The computer kept saying that the card needed to be formatted. What? So I put it back in the camera to see what would happen....said the same thing. I had just used the camera with that card the day before so I was baffled. All to say that we think there is a good chance that the pictures from Stella's very first birthday are lost. I honestly am trying to keep perspective about that but I really feel like I could throw up.

If anyone has ever had something similar happen and you have an idea of how to save or retrieve the pics, please le me know. I am just sick about it and want so badly to have those memories of our baby girl's fun day! Thanks in advance if anyone has any idea of how to help.

Missing This Sweet Face Today...

2011-07-14T14:51:00.001-05:00

Looking forward to more of this...

and this...

and definitely this...

I really miss our boy today! Derek was really missing him last night and watched video after video of him. Good news is that our secondary dossier for court is hopefully getting sent to his country today!!! Pray for a quick date to get scheduled and for the 10 days to be waived!

And to my very thoughtful hubby...thanks for taking these precious pictures that I will always cherish! They are such a gift! I love you!!!

Stella Grace...Our Growing Girl!

2011-07-12T23:38:00.000-05:00

It is hard to describe just how much love we have for this little girl! And today our baby girl turned 1!!!

All day long, I kept thinking at different times what I was doing this time last year. Since Stella's birth was a planned homebirth, it was a really special day. It was an incredible day for our our family as a whole and it was filled with moments that I will always treasure.

On July 12 last year, I found out that God made me really strong. He made my body able to perform some really amazing things. Things that I honestly never thought I could get through. I also gained a new level of admiration for my husband as he literally had to be daddy, husband, nurse, everything! I could not have made it through Stella's labor without him. He is always my encourager. I wasn't in a hospital with nurses and we were at home with all of our children and he was told sternly that I was not to get up unassisted for at least 24 hours. He was wonderful! He did everything he could have and more to make it an incredible experience.

God gave us the sweetest gift in Stella Grace that day 1 year ago! She is just an absolute pure joy. My cuddly sweet Stella. Her laugh is the cutest thing ever and she laughs all the time. She is so smart and amazes us everyday with how she tries to talk and communicate. She loves Emily and Timothy so much and boy is she ever a Daddy's Girl! Just today she cried her eyes out when Derek left for work and handed her to me...the cutest thing! I can't say enough how about what she has brought to our family. I love thinking about who she will become and what her personality will be like later. We are seeing little glimpses now and I feel like I just can't get enough of her. She is a doll!

We have so many hopes for our baby girl! We pray that her heart would turn to her Heavenly

Father at a very early age! And that all of the ways that God has gifted her, Stella would turn back to Him for His purposes and glory. I pray that she would be confident in who God has made her, yet extremely humble! I pray that she would serve others joyfully and be absolutely reckless in her obedience to the Lord's plans for her.

Happy 1st Birthday to our precious little girl! Stella Grace you are such a sweet sister and daughter! We love you immensely!

This is what we get to cherish with this munchkin on a daily basis!

I can't even begin to imagine what the years to come with this little one will bring!:)

Home...

2011-06-28T23:31:00.000-05:00

We are here. And we are very tired. I will share more later on our sleep "issues" while away...funny stuff.

It is good to be home and wonderful to see our children, who I might add are definitely "transitioning" to Mommy and Daddy being back!:)

Lots of laundry, playing with our munchkins, email catch-up, going back to work, grocery store, doctor appointments, fundraising, dossier work...lots going on. I may be absent for a few days. But we will be back and refreshed soon:)

Love to all of you and keep the prayers coming!!! Oh and I have contacted the winners of the bigger giveaway items and will let you know in the next couple of days if you won a necklace...there were 6 winners and I will post them hopefullly tomorrow. Thanks everyone!!

At The Airport...Flight On Time!

2011-06-26T02:14:00.000-05:00

Yay! We are here...safe and sound!

Our flight is on time to leave Mos*** at 12:55pm while most of you all sleep.

Thank you so much for your prayers. It is so bittersweet to leave, but I am dreaming of the day that we board this plane with our little munchkin!!! God is good and so gracious!

Our time here has been amazing. Yet, we are so excited to see our children and to hear the English language...haha!

Hope to be back in good ole R****a in no more than 8 weeks!!!

4am Here and We Need You To Pray!!!

2011-06-25T19:15:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone!

I am sitting in the hotel lobby and all I could think to do was ask you all to pray...

We have to drive to the Mos*** to catch our flight. It is about a 6 hour drive. We tried to check out at the hotel this morning and to our surprise, the banks CLOSE here at night (it's obviously the only thing that closes) and they couldn't run our card!!! Thus we can't check out of the hotel until we pay.

Derek just left with our driver to find an ATM and try to take out cash and I am here by myself in the lobby. Please pray for our travel back home and that we get to the airport safely, that our driver would be alert, that Derek can get some cash out so we can leave, and that we can make our flight. I will try to update before we leave!

Our Last Day With Ivan...We'll Be Back Soon!!!

2011-06-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

We have lots of pictures today. I don't have many words though.

Our time with Ivan was simply wonderful. We really feel like even today that he was different with us, making the goodbye that much more difficult. The last picture is one of Ivan's caregivers and it was a gift from the Lord that she was there with him today. You can tell she really loves the children. She has been there for 25 years.

Here was our morning.

Please Pray for Us!

2011-06-24T17:06:00.000-05:00

Well here we are...the eve of the night that we prepare our hearts to say goodbye, hopefully for a very short period of time. It is such a strange feeling to be so excited to return home to our children yet so heavy hearted and burdened because we have no choice but to leave another of our children.

Although, we will be here all day tomorrow, we will only get to see Ivan once in the morning. The director and other staff are off because of the weekend and she has very graciously allowed us to come back one time without them being there. We are grateful because I was not ready to say goodbye today. Of course tomorrow won't be any easier.

Please pray for us! You could pray for the obvious, that we would be comforted. But, also please pray for our son! We can really tell that even today he was responding very differently to us and we hate to leave. We don't want there to be days where he is laying in a crib. Also, please pray for his health, that he would remain well and strong until we return. Finally pray that the remainder of the paperwork goes very quickly. My goal is to have it sent back withink a week. That means a lot of preparation and then a trip to the county clerk for county authentication and then to Nashville for Apostilles. It will be a lot of work and time, all while getting back into the groove at home and loving on our babies, who we have missed immensely!! The sooner we get home and get this stuff done, the sooner we come back for our son! And finally pray for the remaining finances. God will provide...He has been so faithful providing exactly what is needed at every turn! Here is some of Day 4 with our son!:)

We could not be doing this without all of you! Thank you for your support, your emails, prayers, donations, taking care of our children, your tears of joy...it has blessed us greatly and because of your sacrifice, we are closer to bringing Ivan home!

Great Videos to Share!

2011-06-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

We will update more later, but we couldn't wait to share these precious videos today! We got to greet Ivan first thing when we arrived this morning and got it on video!! Then we got to see him play a bit in the HUGE crib that is in a play area. He was showing off a bit:):) THEN, we got to see him being fed. It was actually not very easy to watch for this momma and daddy. It was softened though by his caregiver who, you can tell, really loves him. She was making him smile so big and we were able to laugh at that instead of being horrified at the rate at which the food was being shoveled into his little mouth. Oh how I just can't wait to get this boy home into our family! Pray hard friends!!!

Just Videos...

2011-06-24T05:47:00.000-05:00

for your viewing pleasure! I figured what better thing to wake up to right?:) Enjoy our little monkey! We are off to see him again right now...3pm our time:)

Fun New Things With Our Peanut...Day 3

2011-06-23T15:39:00.000-05:00

Today was a really fantastic day! We started the day with stopping and getting some medicine for Ivan's Baby House. The director also the doctor told our facilitator about medications they needed...very basic items. We spent $130 and had a full bag of medicine. They were so thankful when we gave it to them!

Our time spent with Ivan today was really wonderful. We were able to spend time in his play area and see and talk to the other children in his groupa. It was also really warm outside and so that time with him was really enjoyable as well.

While we are with Ivan each day, there is not a place to put him down and let him play. Outside doesn't provide that opportunity and there is a room where we can take him to play but the floor is not very clean and he never goes outside, so we have tried to take advantage and not stay in that room. Today when it was time to leave, we took him to his caregivers and they put him in his crib where they play. We got pics and video. But much to our surprise, he sat up!!! And then he got on his hands and knees and started rocking! We couldn't believe it! It was the sweetest surprise! We had tried to sit him up on a couch a couple of days ago, but he was unable. I guess that in his environment where he was able to move around, he is more comfortable. Regardless, we were thrilled to see him do that. The child in the crib with him is Sasha. Sweet little guy is much smaller than Ivan and not even 2 months younger. He stayed on his back the whole time. Our Ivan sort of tackled Sasha...he is going to fit right in with our crew:)

We also got to meet some of the other children. One little boy that has been listed with RR is another Ivan. He has Apert Syndrome and I was so happy to see him in person. His caregivers say he is so smart and we witnessed that. The video will speak to that as you can see him trying to pick up both cars we gave him. We know that he is available for adoption and I would love to see his family come for him. And I have waited to share this amazing news. Do you all remember Nikita! We have been advocating for him with RR. We haven't met him BECAUSE HE HAS A FAMILY!!!! He was adopted months back by a couple in Spain and they say he is doing so well. He is even riding a bike! Potential! They all have it...no matter what that means, it is there. I am going to try and see if they money raised for Nikita since we became his "Warrior" can be transferred to the other Ivan.

The reality sinks in a little more every day. While the baby house is about as good as it could get there, substandard obviously by American standards, Ivan's groupa doesn't go outside and there are only 2 caregivers, if that, for many children, all with special needs. And the bigger reality is that once these precious children are 4 or 5, sometimes 3 years old, they are transferred to institutions, not orphanages like the other "healthy" children. The institutions are nothing like the baby house. Can you even imagine what that would be like for one of these children? I told Derek today that if they aren't walking and feeding themselves by the time they are transferred, what will happen to them? Confined to a crib indefinitely. Honestly, the truth of that existence for these children that are now very real to me, haunts me. They are no longer photos on a computer screen. They are people with little souls that laugh and smile and cry. God created each one of them in His image and what will become of them is very real if no one comes for them. It would be Ivan's reality if we had not said yes to God, no matter the cost. I pray that the people of God will respond. What in this life is more important than this? That is the question Derek and I had to ask ourselves last December. The answer for us was simple, nothing. There is nothing that could be more important, no excuse or reason that would allow us to stand before the throne of our almighty Father and say, "Yes Lord, we knew and we did not respond." Nothing. These children are worthy. They have potential and they need a chance.

Here is our day with our precious little peanut. Every day, he responds more and more to us. I tell you that any fear or apprehension of what the future looks like with Ivan in our family is daily replaced with an indescribeable love and connection. He is our son...meant to be a Kramer from the beginning of time. I am so grateful that God gave us the courage to say yes to Him. What we would have missed out on is something I don't want to imagine. See for yourself...:):)

Thank you all for all of your support! It means so much!!!

Time with our Snugglebug...Day 2

2011-06-22T13:27:00.001-05:00

Our little pumpkin is one sweet little snuggler. We enjoyed being outside with him for a bit today. The other children in the other groupa (the small group that the children live and play with) were out playing and they sure did find a friend in Derek...no surprise there. They also actually let us in to see where Ivan's groupa plays and sleeps. We were really surprised by that! The other children in his groupa all have special needs. We are holding off on posting pics like that just yet. I also would love to post the precious photos of Derek playing with the other children. But I think we will have to wait on that one too. We are just trying to use wise discretion.

We found out today how we can be a blessing to the children at Ivan's baby house that may not be adopted. The orphanage told us some things that they really need. It is ridiculous how expensive stuff is here considering people's wages. We bought a box of 105 diapers today...OVER $50!!! Yes I am not even kidding...ridiculous! Do you know how many they use in a day? As soon as we get home, I am going to start gathering for our next trip. I am really hoping that we can take a huge amount of stuff back for all of these amazing children...most of whom will never find homes...especially those in Ivan's groupa. What that does to me is hard to write. Again, more on that later...processing a lot.

But I want to make something really clear. We feel that Ivan is extremely fortunate. I know that sounds crazy but his baby house has toys, a playground, food. And we met his cargivers and you can tell they genuinely love and care for these children. The director also seems to want the best for all of these children as well. Culturally and socially, there is just no place for a child like Ivan. It is very different here. It is encouraged upon birth by the doctors to orphan these children because their potential is not understood. It would be really easy to think people here are cruel and not just. And I know in many places the conditions are NOT like Ivan's and there is much cruelty and neglect and abuse. I can honestly say that is not the case for our son! True, he has no family and true, he has so much unreached potential, but again we really feel that he has been cared for at the best level possible for where he was born.

And I will also reitereate...Ivan is in the BABY HOUSE!!! Everything above that I stated is the exact opposite of what he would experience if he made it to 4 or 5 and no one came for him. That is the very sad reality for many of the children in his groupa. If no one comes, they WILL be institutionalized. The children that cannot take care of themselves are already at a huge disadvantage and in an institution, there is no hope. Those places are VERY different from where they are in the baby house! The children without any special needs will go to orphanges, different from the institution. All of the children need families, but children like Ivan have very little hope after transfer.

I am so thankful that God has opened our eyes and pricked our hearts for these children! I am so thankful that God lead us to Ivan, our son. I cannot imagine his sweet little soul in an institution. I can't even fathom what will become of the children that we have to leave behind. It is just too much...

I will leave you with some pics from our day. Thank you for all of the comments. We read them out loud to each other. If has been the sweetest encouragement to our hearts. God has used all of you greatly and we certainly feel every bit of that!!! Here is more of our little love...

Looking into his Daddy's eyes...there is a lot of love there!

The green dots are something that they put on mosquito/bug bites. I love Ivan's face here!

Looks like he must be saying, "what are you staring at?":)

Ivan LOVES this toy! Our children helped pick it out for him. I think it must feel good on his hands. And btw...Derek is helping him sit up. He cannot do that...yet:)

I am telling you....Ivan loves to cuddle. He is so sweet.

We got some laughs today!

and LOTS of smiles!

Derek rubbed his skin and he loved it...especially his head being gently scrtached!

This is one of my very favorite pictures...tear up almost every time I see it. A beautiful picture of what it looks like to be protected by a father. Ivan has really begun bonding with Derek and it is hard to put into words how sweet this has been!

And another favorite...signing the official papers stating that we have met Ivan and agree to his adoption. The Director of Education was still asking our facilitator if we were absolutely sure, even after the papers were notarized. YES...WE ARE SURE!!!! HE IS OUR SON!!! Pure joy to say that...can't wait until it is legal and final!

Today...

2011-06-21T14:37:00.000-05:00

There are no words to explain what happened today. We met our son. God, in His infinite grace and wisdom, chose us as a family for the most precious little boy and after holding this perfect gift in our arms, we are humbled beyond words.

Today we are so grateful that we listened to the sweet voice of our Lord and stepped out in faith and obedience. Today, we have absolutely fallen in love. Today, the language was no barrier. Today, Down Syndrome was the furthest concern from our mind. Today, we met Ivan..."Vanya"

We think he is pretty adorable!

It seemed surreal to take this photo!

What a handsome boy!

I have 2 favorites of the afternoon and this is one of them...he was giving Derek a kiss!

My other favorite...just no words!

Blowing raspberries:)

He is just so very sweet...

and quite a cuddlebug!

We are still processing a lot. I will say that he is so sweet and we are just in love with him as if he has always been ours. I have no doubt that he is going to be loved by so many. He has just stolen our hearts. We cannot wait for his sisters and brother to meet him!

We also got to ask lots of questions and got a lot of information today...still trying to absorb all of that and will maybe share more later. We know that his heart will need to be checked when we bring him home. We also know that he seems fairly healthy. He does not eat from a bottle. His caregivers said he is very calm and loves to eat. We were told he has received some therapy as well. I cannot express how grateful we were to see him not extremely malnourished. His birthday is Sep. 28...he will turn 2 and right now he is around 20 lbs...about the same size as Stella. He cannot sit up yet and tomorrow we hope to be able to play more on the floor. He loved playing with my hair and as you can see from the pics, he loved kissing his daddy:)

I will leave you with this video...I will tell you it is long but so very worth every second:) There are some really sweet moments around the 5 and 7 minute marks. We will leave our hotel at 9:30 in the morning to go and spend a couple of hours with him.

Thank you for your prayers!!! We can't even begin to tell you how God has heard them and answered! Seriously you all...so many things that people were praying have been answered. More on all of that later. For now, we hope you enjoy "meeting" Ivan or "Vanya" as he has been called by his caregivers...

Quick Update!

2011-06-21T03:16:00.000-05:00

Keep praying friends!

We went this morning with our WONDERFUL translator/facilitator to the Dep. of Education and signed the parpers requesting to meet Ivan. We then went and had the papers notarized. Then it was back to our hotel where we now wait as our facilitator translates some paperwork we brought with us and then heads back to the Dept. of Ed. to get the head person to sign and give us permission. The Baby House director said that Ivan sleeps from noon until 3 and we should not disturb him then so.....

WE WILL MEET OUR SON IN JUST A FEW SHORT HOURS!!!!!!!!!

Oh how we have longed to say that! We also found out some things more specific for Ivan this morning and we will share a bit on that later. We will also get to review all of his information this afternoon.

We just cannot wait to see our son....he has been placed in our hearts and family from the beginning of God's creation. I am overflowing at the work of God's miraculous hand. He is so good to us! Why He chose me and Derek, I will never understand, but my heart is so thankful that it feels like it could explode.

I pray that we never get so comfortable in our day to day as followers of Christ that we fail to see all that He has planned for the body of Christ! I have never been so convinced as I am right now how much the world needs to hear the Good News! Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Pray that someone will see the joy of the Lord upon us and that hearts will be changed. Pray that today we will be able to share and teach who Christ is and that He came to save and redeem. Pray that someone will see our love for Ivan and see it as the love the Father has for us...that while we were deemed unworthy, He loves us anyway, even to the point of death on the cross! What a picture of our adoption into Christ. Pray Church pray!

More later!!!

Hello From....The "R" Country!!!

2011-06-20T14:06:00.000-05:00

WE ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I just say that there have been days that we thought we would never be able to say that! It was a long journey...door to door, over 30 hours. It is currently 1pm in TN and 10pm here. There is still daylight outside...so strange. We are really really tired and just thrilled to be here! The travel went as well as possible. And so far, our translators/facilitators have been so kind and helpful. We also sat with a gentleman on the plane (from R country:) that spoke English and it was truly a pleasure getting to know him. He was very perplexed as to why we were doing what we were doing so it was the first of hopefully many opportunities to share the love of God!

First thing we want to say is a huge thank you. You all prayed us here and you gave so tremendously!!! There are so many many hands involved in the adoption of Ivan...a beautiful picture of the Gospel!

I was reflecting on this passage today on the plane from I Tim. 6:17-19. I am too tired to type it all out right now, but please check it out if you can. The word generous is used in Paul's instruction and to the side in my Bible I had written, from a previous message given by one of our teaching pastors, that "generous living is redemptive acts of kindness overflowing from a heart full of faith, hope, and love." That is precisely what we have been surrounded by. I just cannot tell you how what it means to us and how this journey has changed us.

To let you know, because you are all such a huge part of this, we did not raise everything we needed to pay our agency. We did get great news that because we are a RR family, we get a $1K deduction of fees, which drops our final agency fees to $15,500. We have raised a bit over $12K and will pay $10K of our fees tomorrow. We need to keep some out for the cost of travel and fees in country. When we return, we will evaluate what we have leftover from travel expenses and then pay more agency fees. We are hoping to sell our CRV very quickly and that will help a great deal. Anybody need a car?:) We just wanted everyone to know where we were with all of that. We are so grateful that our agency allowed us to pay part of our fees and still travel and for ALL of you!!!

We truly feel like this journey to our son is JUST beginning. Those of you that have walked this path with us over the last 6 months may feel like it is near the end, but we have a long way to go.

Leaving our children yesterday (what day is it??) was so very hard...much harder than I had imagined. I am not worried about them at all. I guess just my attached mommy heart felt odd leaving my babies to go see our other. It was gut-wrenching and heartbreaking and there is just no other way to put it. I couldn't have prepared for it...I know that much.

Now about sweet little Ivan...

We are meeting our facilitator in the morning (Tues. @ 9am). It will be Mon.Night/Tues. morning at 12am TN time. We will be going to the Dept. of Education and then to a notary where we will take care of some paperwork and business and of course request to go meet Ivan. I am assuming that could say no since we have to ask permission. PLEASE PRAY HARD that we get to see him tomorrow. We are about 10-15 min from his baby house right now and that feels so surreal. We trust that God's timing is perfect. Please pray that his little heart will be prepared to meet us and for smooth relations with everyone involved. We will take pictures and video and post as soon as we are able so please check back often.

My Facebook is in R****an and so I cannot access that. You can email or leave comments on the blog. We will try to respond as we are able.

More details to share about our travel so far later. The city we are in seems to be very historic with many old beautiful buildings. There is a really nice park right outside of our hotel. The driving here is CRAZY!!!! Oh.My.Word! That's all I will say about that for now. More on all that later. We will have to let the pics speak for us as we are truly exhausted! Love you all...keep praying!!!

International Flight

2011-06-19T14:20:00.003-05:00

Hey guys... guest Blogger Austin Henderson here.

We just talked with Derek and Karen. They are in Atlanta and boarding the flight for Eastern Europe as I write. We saw them this morning before they left and everyone seemed to be in great spirits about the upcoming adventure, but they were also very nervous about being far away from their children for such a long time.

Pray for their nerves in the flight, pray for a fun and enjoyable week for their children here in the states, and pray that God would grant them a fun and memorable time together.

I am sure we will hear back from them soon - though I think the flight is at least 11 hours or so. Thanks for your prayers this whole week. We are asking that God grant them open doors and smiling faces at each turn they make.

Giveaway Ends Tomorrow!!!

2011-06-16T23:33:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is the end of the GIVEAWAYS!!!

I hope you got in on it! If not, lucky you, it doesn't end until tomorrow at 5pm!:):)

The bracelets that I shared in that same post are almost gone. We have 40 and we are at 31!!!! SO, if you wanted one, donate at least $10 and you can have one of the last 9 left! They are so cool and really beautiful!

So where are we in process? We have a little over $12k raised. Isn't that just amazing? I still can't believe it! God has used so many of you to be a part of this journey. I feel like every time I check email, I see another blog or tweet, or FB status that has do with Ivan. And I am telling you it is humbling to see how God is using a little boy on the other side of the world to bring people closer to Him and to open people's eyes about the least of these in just one corner of the world.

Derek and I are very ordinary people. When people say how inspiring we are, it makes me giggle a little, (after I stop bawling my eyes out of course...I am slightly emotional right now!:) because I know just how absolutely flawed and ordinary we are. I wish I could convey how crazy this journey is for us. I have said it over and over again...if you would have told me a year ago that we would be on this journey, I would have thought you were TOTALLY out of your mind!

I say all of that because I truly believe that many could say yes to God's call and believe that Ivan will open people's eyes to all of the potential that children just like him, laying in cribs day in and out have! I do not think that every person should adopt. Many would disagree with me on that, but I don't think we are all called to that. I do however know that we are all called to do what we can to help those that are weak and cannot help themselves. That includes lots of people. We answered the call for Ivan. I will never understand why God chose us to be his family...EVER! But He did and we desire to be obedient.

The important aspect of all of this is that we had to have ears that were open to hear, no matter what the cost. And we had to be willing to step out in faith, no matter what that meant. I am nervous about having 4 small children. I am apprehensive about knowing how to fully care for Ivan. I think about finances, our time, date nights, outings, our friends and community's acceptance of Ivan, time alone for me and Derek, one on one time with all of our kids, homeschooling...I mean seriously, I could and do think this decision to adopt to death! Obedience is hard stuff.

But at the end of the day, two very flawed and ordinary people said yes to God. It was the most difficult and easiest decision that we have ever made...if that is even possible. Without all of you, Ivan becoming a part of our family and ultimately all of our lives, would not happen. I thank you for feeling that little nudge in your heart and responding! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Giveaway winners announced tomorrow, at which time, we will only have 2 SLEEPS before getting on that plane!!!! And don't forget to get in on one those cute cute bracelets!!!

These crazy little monkeys sure are excited about their brother getting home soon!

6 Sleeps From Tonight...

2011-06-13T22:00:00.000-05:00

do you know where we will be??? When we have something really fun and exciting coming up in our home, we count down by sleeps! So, from tonight just 6 sleeps and we will be on a flight to Ivan's country!

I am full of so many emotions that it is hard to even put it in to words. Please continue praying for us! We obviously still have the giveaways going on and many preparations to make to leave our children for a week. Lots to do and keep up with....all well worth the prize:)

I have never ever felt the consuming love of the Father by way of His people as I have during the beginnings of this journey. This has been the hardest decision we have ever made and we have felt every bit of the weight of it...we have provoked the enemy a bit too, I might add. I have said it over and over the last 6 months, BUT GOD! He has called us to this and He will complete it. I can't see the details and I can't see the fullness of His handiwork yet, but I know my God to be faithful and sovereign!

Thank you...every single hand, every single dollar, the sweat, the tears shed for and with us, the sacrifice of time and money, the encouragement...all for one tiny little guy that has never known the love of a mom or dad, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents. Ivan has known a crib and he has known caregivers. Someday very soon, he will know the feel of hands that will linger as they hold his face and eyes that will look deep into his and he will hear the words I love you. We will tell him how wonderfully and perfectly God made him.

And none of that would ever happen without all of you! Thank you for being on this journey with us and thank you for your sacrifice. We can never ever repay all of you! We love you, each and every one of you! Thank you for loving our son as the Father loves us! You are all part of Ivan's story!

We Have a Winner and More FUN STUFF!!!!

2011-06-11T23:43:00.000-05:00

Bao Bao Bear found a home last night. The randomly generated number was 37 and it belonged to Amanda Ward. She has a new little one named Etta Claire that will love him very much!:) Congrats Amanda!

Thanks to everyone that gave to that giveaway. He was a special bear and we had waited to do that giveaway for a long time:)

AND now for more good stuff!!!!!!!!! Here we go!

This is a beautiful piece of art donated by Katie Schmeltzer. She transforms things that others would throw away into these super cool decorative pieces.

These pieces usually value at $40-$50.

This is one of a few handmade Ugandan beaded necklaces that I have remaining. The McMurtry family, who brought home their little sweet pea from Uganda recently, donated these and they are beautiful!

This is the other style/color that I have.

And of course, this fun prize is still in the mix! (You can scroll down for all of the info on this camcorder).

And finally, if you give at least $5, this amazing momma that is adopting 2 of her own little cuties is giving these away. They are beautiful and just so cool!

We leave in 7 days!! Yes you read that right 7 days!!! We need to raise a lot of money in those few days! We currently are at around $8K and we need $16,500. for our first trip. We could be totally freaked out by this, but we truly trust that somehow God will provide!

So in light of that, I am upping the anty a bit here:

***For every $10 that you donate, you will be entered one time in the drawing for one of the above prizes!

***If you share our blog on FB, your own blog, or Twitter, you will be entered once for each place that you share about our journey!

***Please be sure to tell me that you donated and how much and if you shared about Ivan! If you do not email me, FB message me, or leave a blog comment then I may miss it!

***You can give on the Chip In on our blog or go to our RR account by clicking Ivan's pic on the right sidebar. You can also do a check in the mail (and then no Paypal fees are taken out:)

***Winners announced this coming Friday June 17th!!!

Thank you doesn't do justice to the thankfulness we feel over so many of you that have given and prayed and encouraged....the list goes on and on. We still have a long way to go before Ivan is home and we need your help. We cannot do this alone. I fully believe God made it this way for a reason! We are ALL called to care for orphans and widows. You may not be adopting, but you can pray and most of us can give! Thank you to each one of you that is playing a part in Ivan's story! Our son has no idea how much he is loved and I can't wait until we can look in his sweet face and tell him that his mommy and daddy have come! You are making that a reality!!!!

Time to Step it Up!

2011-06-06T22:29:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to shout this out......................

We leave in LESS than 2 weeks to meet our son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so besides having so much to do to prepare, and, yes I am getting a bit nervous, we still have lots of money to come up with to get us there. Would you please pray that this happens...and FAST?

We have another really cool giveaway to add to the camera. And the little bear from a previous post will find his home this Friday:)

Check back tomorrow for another super awesome giveaway from one talented girl!

Humbled...

2011-06-01T22:21:00.000-05:00

I have sat in the place of humility and awe of God over and over and over again after our family comitted to Ivan. Today, I am there again. Living in a state of constant need makes me realize my constant need of Him in my life.

Today, many people gave. Today I watched as people that I love dearly and people whom I have never met give. They gave in hopes that every cent would help bring Ivan home. And then tonight...

Tonigh I get a message from someone I have never met. I have seen her sweet baby's faces before...her family is bringing home 2 precious children from the "R" country....totaling over $54K!!!! Yes you read that right! She contacted me because of what is being offered to you below. Below is the post from a beautiful Godly woman named Ann who acted because the Lord asked her to. No hesitation. She gave us this to offer as an incentive to increase funds so that Ivan can come home to us and to a community that will embrace and cherish him unconditionally. So here it is...I sure hope you will donate and share this giveaway because this is one awesome gift!

Product Features

MiniDV camcorder with 22x optical zoom, 440x digital zoom, image stabilization

2.5-inch fold-out color LCD screen and color viewfinder

Super Night mode for low-light filming, Motion JPEG movie mode

Takes digital stills (1024 x 768) and stores them on included 8 MB Secure Digital memory card

Connects to PCs and Macs via Firewire (IEEE1394) and USB (for photos)

3 WAYs TO GET ENTERED!!!

So here is how you get your name in for this drawing. There are a few ways. ONE way is share this post on FB and let me know, TWO you can share our story on your blog about this give away with a link, and THREE every $5 donation gets you in for this "give away".

You MUST leave a comment telling me how much you gave and all the ways you shared about this "give away."

***The giveaway for the camera will end on Fri. June17 and the winner will be announced the next day (the day before we leave:) Ann will mail it out to you the next week.***

So Very Very Close!!!!!

2011-06-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

Never felt quite this desperate before. We have a few things in the works to try and raise some more funds. Our flights are being booked today and Visa stuff is going out today via FedEx overnight. We are leaving Nashville to fly across the ocean to hold and meet Ivan in just a couple of weeks...set to leave June 18 or 19!!!! I wish that I had the words to describe the emotion that comes JUST imagining what it will be like to touch his face and tell him his Mommy and Daddy have come....to tell him he will be an orphan no longer in just a few short months. Oh Praise God!!!!

I can truly say that we have never ever been so humbled and in need as much as we are right now. We are in need of your prayers and money! There is just no eloquent way to put that.

No denying adoption is expensive. It stinks, but it is what it is. I can dislike it all I want but that doesn't get us any closer to Ivan! What do we owe? $16,500. in remaining agency fees. Our airfare for this trip (will worry about the second one later) will be around $2300. min. And Visas will be around $400. Not including lodging while there. It seems like a lot, but God is way bigger and we KNOW that He will complete this journey!!!

What have we paid? $7k in agency fees, $890 for immigration, $1500 for homestudy, over $300 for passports, and of course hundreds and hundreds in postage through FedEx, Appilcation fees, Fingerprinting and Criminal checks.

What we have...Our grants through RR at this point are around $5600 (someone gave recently...THANK YOU!!!) And Ivan's personal account is at around $3300 which we will likely use today to help with travel and Visas.

We will be preselling T-shirts ASAP! Please buy one! I will give details later today.

We are looking into a Spirit Night with Chick-Fil-A.

I have a giveaway on the blog currently for that cute little bear.

And when our youth kids get back from their mission trip to Haiti, we might beg for their help with a car wash.

We are also trying to sell one of our cars. If anyone has any really tangible easy money makers please let me know!

Again, I know that we sound desperate, but if Emily, Timothy, or Stella, or even a friend's child was stuck in a crib on the other side of the world, I would literally stop at nothing to get to them....NOTHING!!! So, I know lots of you may be sick of hearing about this, but as long as Ivan and other sweet young souls are without their families, I will shout from the rooftops! We need help!

The support and love we have felt so far has been TRULY amazing...cannot stress how unbelievable it has been to see so many people give sacrificially! And I mean very sacrificial giving! You can give for the bear on our Chip-in. I haven't had even one entry yet:( It's only $5 to enter once and it is a super cute bear with an even more precious story!:)

I will keep everyone updated with our travel info and $ info. We are in the final stretches of fundraising...would you please consider being a part of that with us?

Anticipated News and A Give Away!!

2011-05-27T01:19:00.000-05:00

It is with so much joy that we can finally say we are officially so much closer to meeting our son!!! We got the news last night that our information was officially submitted to the Ministry of Education in Ivan's country! We have been "invited" to come as early as June 20th. That will be here before we know it and we cannot wait.

There are definitely mixed emotions as we know that the hardest part will be leaving him there and returning home to wait for our next court date to bring him home and officially see him become a mini-Kramer! we have hope that it will go smoothly and he will come home quickly!

I have many ideas for fundraising floating in my head, but what you will see below has been in the works for a LONG time.

This was supposed to be our first giveaway/fundraising idea. The time just never seemed right, but now seems so perfect! Our children all have "lovies" and they all have Korean names...each is very special to our children. Bunnies By the Bay is the company responsible for their cuddly soft cuteness! They make the most adorable items for babies. Everything from lovies to onesies....just so cute and SOFT!

I had the idea to contact them and just see if they might donate an item for our adoption to use as a giveaway. Less than a month later, I not only received an adorable little bear to give away but also a lovie for Ivan and a cute little pair of bear slippers! I was shocked at their generosity. Come to find out, they support adoption wholeheartedly (yet another reason to love their products)! They even allowed us to pick the item that they donated. We chose this bear because a cetain little guy's country's national animal is a bear. That was when we found out the story behind Bao Bao Bear. He was adopted by the bunnies! Seriously...how sweet is that?

Below you will find pics of this precious bear. Also, he will be given away with the coziest little bear feet slippers. I want him to go to a good family:) He will make someone very happy for sure!

This is what you have to do to bring this cuddly guy home:

1. Give in $5 increments using the "Chip-In" on our blog or if you want to go the tax-deductible route, you can go to our family's page here. For every $5 you give, your name will be entered into a random drawing.

2. After you give, PLEASE let us know that you gave and how much so we can give you the right amount of chances to win. We can't always see when people give.

3. You will be able to give until Sat. June 11th. That gives you about 2 weeks! We will announce the winner the day after and will mail your new friend out on that Mon. June 13th.

Would you please consider giving or posting on your blog or FB? We can't wait for Bao Bao Bear to find a home!!!!

Isn't he adorable? You will just have to trust me on how soft he is!

Here are his adoption tags:)...so cute!

What a cute face!

Precious bear feet.

So stinkin' cute!

I sure hope he finds a home:):)

Nikita

2011-05-14T22:03:00.000-05:00

Around the time that Derek and I committed to our precious Ivan, this little boy caught our eye as well. Little blue-eyed Nikita. He is in the same region and most likely in the same orphanage as Ivan. His blond hair and beautiful blue eyes immediately caught our attention. I was also taken back by the fact that he did not have a family already! I love the expression on his sweet little face. He looks like he is quite the thinker with just a little mischief thrown in for good measure!:)

There are a few things that he and Ivan in common...however, Nikita is older than Ivan. Normally, no big deal. But in Nikita's case, it means he is close to transfer....very close! He is 2 years older than Ivan which means that he will be 4 years old this September! Unfortunately 4 is the typical age for transfers to adult institutions! Can you even imagine this little guy in an institution with adults? The last statistic I read was that approx. 80% of children die within the first year of transfer because of the conditions.

My heart cannot even fathom what it would be like if this precious boy is transferred. Without a clue, he would just wake up one day and be taken away from everything he has ever known at his baby house. The thought is just too much to take really!

The thing that makes me really sad is that I found out that not one person ever, not EVEN one, has ever inquired about adopting him!!! WHY?!?!!!! I just don't get it! The other super hard thing is that he has a whopping grand total of $18 in his adoption grant...it brings me to tears!

All of these reasons lead us to become his "warrior" through Reece's Rainbow. So while you will be hearing about how to pray for us and for Ivan, you will also hear about Nikita! When we travel for the first time, we are going to attempt to meet him, which might not happen, but we will try. We are hoping to get some additonal photos and info. I am going to post his RR info below. Keep in mind that his "laundry list" of diagnoses doesn't mean a whole lot. Some of the terms in his country don't even really exist. Medical info from Eastern Europe isn't exactly highly trusted as far as orphans go.

If you are visiting our blog for the 100th time or the first, this is what I would love for you to do. Pray that Nikita's family would step forward!!! Oh how I beg you to pray this! I have seen it happen over and over...the people of God begin praying and families come out of nowhere! His family is somewhere....I just know it. It may be someone reading now. If you feel something stirring, pray hard for wisdom, push the what-ifs and fears out of your mind, and seek the Lord's will. Derek and I definitely had many apprehensions and many talks about what life will be like with Ivan. We are certain that it will not be easy and that it WILL stretch us and that we will be far from our comfort zone and schedules and routines, but ultimately it came down to obedience! Period! And the thought of Ivan without a family in exchange for us going about the ease of our daily lives....well, there was just no question. So, I ask you to boldy pray for Nikita's mommy and daddy....I know they are out there!

Finally, I ask that you would give! Yes I am being bold in asking, without much tact.:) I am asking that you would give $5!!! That's it! No more. If you feel lead to do more then please give away!!:) But what I am pleading with you is to give $5!!! It isn't much for most of us. In fact, I don't think most of us would miss it. I think that for most of us it is the time it takes to go to RR and log into PayPal!. And then if you don't have an account already, the temptation is there to just think it is sort of a hassle and maybe you will just promise yourself you will do it later. I ask you to please take about 10 minutes and $5 and do this! Give by going HERE!!!! Click on the little yellow Donate box.

I am tearing up as I write this because as I sit here, our son could be in the same room with Nikita and no one is coming for him. By God's grace, Ivan will come home, in the hopefully near future, and Nikita will wait. Over and over I have witnessed children's grants rise and then families step forward because they suddenly realize the money can be raised and it isn't the most important aspect of adoption. I would love for money to not be a barrier at all for Nikita's family coming for him!

I beg you to pray and give....go right now and do it! I promise that as his grant soars, you will feel the most amazing joy deep within your soul...and all it takes is 5 bucks and a little time!

Pray for Nikita tonight! It is tomorrow morning already for him...pray that someone greets his sweet sleepy face with a kiss and a hug and that somehow he feels our prayers! Thank you in advance!:) And please repost this to your blogs and FB...please, please!!!!

Nikita's info from RR:

Boy, Born September 2, 2007
Nikita is a beautiful little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was born at 32 weeks to an alcoholic and malnourished mother He needs a mama who will really take care of him now! FULL MEDICAL RECORDS AVAILABLE, but his primary diagnoses are: Epilepsy with frequent polymorphic attacks. Delayed speech and psycho-motor development. MAAS. Functional cardiopathy. Mild esotropia. Dysfunction of hepatobiliary system. Contracture of the hip joints.

Sweet Stella....

2011-05-13T16:06:00.000-05:00

is 10 months old today!!!! We love her more and more everday. What a precious little gift of sweetness and laughter she is! We love you Stella Grace!!!

Still Here...

2011-05-11T15:44:00.016-05:00

Hard to believe, but we still exist! Lots to report, this is just a teaser...

Emily is still growing!

Timothy is still Superman!

Stella is still just as sweet as sugar!

And there is still lots of love to go around!

Stay Tuned...We're officially back!!!

Vanya!!!!

2011-04-07T11:56:00.000-05:00

Okay so I realize I took a ridiculously long blog hiatus and am now posting for the second time in 24 hours! haha!!

BUT this is for a precious little guy named Vanya AND YOU can win some seriously awesome stuff just by reposting on your blog or FB or Twitter or donating ANY amount!!!

ALL of us can do this....we can ALL help find this adorable little guy a family!

Hop on over to this blog and see a completely ridiculous amount of prizes for helping this little boy. SO many awesome people donated to make this happen. It gives me chills. Seriously, my mouth was hanging open when I saw all of the STUFF!!! And if I don't win a thing, I know I will never miss the time it took to post this entry or the 10 bucks that I gave!

DO IT!!!!! Just do it and when his family steps forward you will feel so awesome knowing that God used little old you to help find this sweet boy a home forever!

Continuing on That Road of Humility....

2011-04-07T00:41:00.000-05:00

It is late and I could write so much about all that is going on with us. I need to update so badly.

Our computer is currently in a state of not letting us upload pics so I have been reluctant to post because, I mean really who comes to read my words. I know pics are what you want:) I wish I could share how our sweet little ones are growing up...soon I hope;)

Emily constantly amazes us and she is the joy of my heart! I am daily amazed at how intuitive she is and how creative and smart she is. Her love for the Lord is simply beautiful. She is one special little girl and I love her to pieces. Timothy is still keeping me on my toes daily and is getting funnier every day. His facial expressions can make any tense moment turn into a comedy routine. The kid is such a little love. I think he tells me that I am his "cheeseburger" (his term of endearment...thank you Veggie Tales:)12 times a day! And sweet little Stella Grace, oh how I could just eat her up! She is growing up so fast that it makes my heart hurt. She loves to eat, loves to laugh at her brother and sister, and is really beginning to make herself heard:) We don't have to worry about her fading into the background as a 3rd unheard child...that is FOR sure! I just love each of them so much!

And on the adoption front...

We had our big fundraiser/music/dessert/silent auction event and raised over $6,000. Between that and the yard sale we had about a month ago, we had just enough to send in our dossier and passports and shipping and such! It literally took Ivan's account down to almost nothing, but God provided exactly what we needed and that was humbling beyond words!

And speaking of humbling...I could go on and on about all of the selfless efforts that SO many people are doing to help us raise money to get our son home! Lots of people I don't even know. I am still blown away that people that had never met my family showed up in support the night of our benefit! Derek and I are constantly humbled at the daily things that have happened. I feel like we are in a season of need and humility that we have never been before. NEVER would I have been okay with asking for the amount of help that I have in the last few months. NEVER would I have accepted money from strangers and NEVER would I have let so many people serve my family in such huge ways. But I am learning! I am learning that the body of Christ is meant for just this and it is truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. I am also learning that pride has absolutely NO place in our relationship with our Heavenly Father! Painful lessons to learn but the growth in us is indescribable!!

There are a few events coming up that are pretty awesome! All three events will provide more funds to pay the very large upcoming fees before we travel to meet Ivan for the first time.

~One friend is having a weekend of photography mini-sessions...Check it out here!!!

~Another friend is having a yard sale in Kentucky...so if you are in that area, check this out!!!

~Last but certainly not least, two of Derek's youth guys are having a concert at a local coffee shop! There is NO charge to get in, but they will be accepting donations. I am amazed by these two young men...just awesome!

So, there you have it! That's a snippet of what is going on with us!

Will post more this week when I get confirmation that our Primary Dossier has been shipped off to that faraway land:):) CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will You Please Watch This and Pray!!

2011-03-25T11:16:00.000-05:00

There aren't many words needed once you watch this video. A family much like mine, in the process of adopting their precious boy, in the same country as Ivan, went (after a long drawn out wait) to their son's country for court thinking they were on the verge of bringing him home...only for the judge to say "NO!"

The family is in the process of appealing, but they have to appear before the same exact judge and the same prosecutor. PRAY THAT A MIRACLE WOULD HAPPEN AND THEIR SON, KIRILL, BE ALLOWED TO COME HOME TO HIS FOREVER FAMILY!!!

This video was taken when they first met their son...it speaks for itself! It will move you to pray. These children that have been regarded as unworthy of adoption have love in their hearts because they were formed in the image of their Creator. They are worthy! Please watch this precious precious video and pray your hearts out...I beg you!

Benefit For Our Little Guy!

2011-03-25T00:05:00.003-05:00

Where: Blackman Middle School

3945 Blaze Dr.

Murfreesboro, TN 37128

When: Saturday March 26 @ 7PM!!

What: Music Benefit Including Silent Auction & Dessert Reception

Why: TO BRING BABY BOY HOME!!!!!!

Please pray, pray, and pray some more that people will give for Ivan's adoption expenses, that people's hearts will be moved towards precious orphans all over the world, and most of all that a heart will be changed by watching the body of Christ serving so incredibly sacrificially to bring our son home that they will ask Christ to adopt them into His fold!!!!

If you live in the area, we would love to see you there!!!

Been a LOOOONNNNNNGGGGG Time!

2011-03-08T11:43:00.000-06:00

Well friends! It's been way too long since an update and frankly I don't have the time right now to properly do an update justice. We have had LOTS going on! And I promise a post with pictures:) much better than this one, but for now.....

HUGE YARD SALE THIS WEEKEND AT OUR HOUSE!!!!!!

Please go here for more info:
http://nashville.craigslist.org/eve/2254058729.html
Tell anyone you know to come!!!!

Loving on Sveta and Her Family...

2011-02-08T11:23:00.000-06:00

Hey Friends out there! I have a request!

There is a family in the midst of an adoption of a precious little girl named Sveta. They are at almost the exact same place in the process as our family and Sveta, like Ivan, has special needs and is in Eastern Europe.

Raising the amount needed to bring our little ones home COULD be overwhelming if we didn't have absolute unwavering faith that God has lead us into this and He will provide. It will be sacrificial on our parts and we know that others will feel the call to help as well. Our family has already witnessed this with a small fun little fundraiser that we began on Facebook that has already raised almost $300 and more to come in matching donations!

Raising money is hard. I have found the hardest part to be keeping it all straight in my head. With the dossier beast that I am currently slaying and the homestudy beast that is currently under foot, raising money can seem overwhelming! The thought hits me at times...oh yeah, we have to actually raise over $27k to bring our boy home...it feels like a ransom! Sometimes it all feels like too much....BUT GOD!!!

What a beautiful picture when the church...God's people ALL chip in and give! EVERY.LITTLE.BIT HELPS!!! I cannot stress that enough. I gave our 10 bucks today to Sveta and it wasn't much but I know that God will multiply it like crazy! So please head on over to this family's blog...give them 5 bucks to bring their little girl home...this current fundraiser they are doing is soo cute and fun! And will serve as a beautiful reminder to Sveta and her family how people that they didn't even know helped bring her to her forever family!

Quick $2 For Forever Update...

2011-02-03T12:13:00.000-06:00

I feel like doing a happy dance! As of this morning, in less than 3 days, ......

There have been 17 contributors giving a total of $237.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So incredibly awesome! And I would say that I can't believe it, but that would we a big fat lie, because I KNOW that God is going to do this thing!!! No doubt!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!! Keep praying for our little guy! Give God lots of praise that we are all blessed the way that we are! If you are able to give $2, then you are indeed wealthier than most people in the rest of the world!!! We are thankful that God has given you all what He has and indeed very thankful that you are following in obedience to use it for His glory....to care for "the least of these!"

$2 For Forever

2011-02-01T23:54:00.000-06:00

We just wanted to let everyone know that we started an "Event" on Facebook to raise money for Ivan's adoption and awareness. Even if you are not on Facebook, we wanted to open this up to as many people as possible. Please read below. It is what was posted on FB. Also, please forward this to as many people as you can! Every single dollar will help bring him home!

So just for an update...

TODAY....People that we know and people I have never met gave $162!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To say we are overwhelmed is ridiculous! I just can't even believe it! I see God ALL over this! So, if you gave today, thank you so very much! And if you are reading for the first time, please please pass this along!

Also, friends of ours wanted to heat things up a bit and have said that they will match the first $2 given by the first 100 people in the next 2 weeks!!! Hooray...let's do this!!! (read below for a description)

Right now a little boy named Ivan, who has special needs, waits in an Eastern European orphanage and he needs our help. Ivan will turn 2 in September and we'd like to ask everyone to donate $2 in the next 2 weeks to help Ivan come home to his forever family! Derek and Karen Kramer are doing everything possible to bring him home this Summer and here's how we can help! For less money than it takes to buy your favorite Starbucks drink you can make a difference in the funds it will take for the Kramers to bring little Ivan home.

Here’s a link to the Kramer family blog where you can read more about their adoption journey and use the “Chip In” option on their page to donate $2 towards Ivan’s adoption costs. Please INVITE as many friends to this event as possible. Every dollar counts...we can all make a difference for Ivan’s sake!

Thanks EVERYONE!!!!!!

All Because of HIM!

2011-01-30T16:12:00.000-06:00

I don't know how it is possible for such an exhausting week to also be so uplifting and fulfilling, but God made that happen! From paperwork to cleaning to making copies (and more copies) of paperwork to my sweet hubby being gone a lot to the normal daily life of 3 kiddos under 5...it has been full, but man was I tired. Unfortunately Derek and I have yet to catch up on sleep and he has another RIDICULOUSLY busy week ahead, which means a full week for Mommy too. By this coming Friday, I will probably have lost more of my sanity, but amazingly I am growing more and more okay with that! Funny that as we grow closer and closer to the heart of God, so many other things slowly fade out in their level of importance. It feels really, really good!

Our home study went well and yes it was easier than I thought. Our social worker Kelly is fantastic. She is a believer and also in the process of adopting. How cool is that?!? I am so glad that God orchestrated us finding our agency for our home study the way He did. Our timeline feels a little more real now. Originally we were really hoping to bring Ivan home by August. It seems slightly possible that it could be sooner...oh please Lord...let it happen!!! Needless to say that we will have some serious fundraising to do. There are a couple of things in the works and will hopefully come to fruition soon. I have been blown away by God's hand already!

In the last couple of weeks, this is how God has used His people:

~a friend that is a veterinarian donated our 2 dogs' vaccinations/check-ups!

~a couple donated the first $50 to Ivan's fund on our blog! (and I know this family sacrificed...thank you!!!)

~multiple friends lovingly cared for our children so that I could get paperwork copied and run errands. One of my dear friends has watched my children on 3 different days since Jan. began and she has 2 of her own! Amazing!! (thank you girl!...you know I love you!)

~I received a thoughtful note in the mail unexpectedly and inside was a check for $100!!! Most of all, she so encouraged me with her words and the scripture on the front of the card. I needed THAT specific Word that day!

~A company that I love donated a couple of items to use as our first giveaway on our blog. They asked for nothing in return...AWESOME!!! (btw...this giveaway is coming soon:)...get ready for the cuteness!:)

~I have received almost daily emails and FB messages of encouragement and prayer from people that I don't even know...God has sent those words on my hardest days!

~One of my dearest friends is spending so much of her time trying to do all that she can to get fundraising started for Ivan! I have been so overwhelmed by the other aspects of the adoption that the money part was making my head swim. I didn't even ASK for help, she just dove right in and has almost DAILY worked on fundraising to get Ivan home quicker!! (I don't know what I would do without your support and encouragement and desire to love us this way!)

~Derek got an email last week from a friend that felt moved to help get Ivan home as soon as possible. He told us his ideas about using the marathons he is running in the next few months as a way to raise awareness for Ivan and funds. His sweet wife stepped in and wants to go even further with the idea and make shirts! As Derek shared the email that night, I cried so hard thinking about how God is using the life of this little boy in Eastern Europe to change hearts and drive us to things that matter to HIM!!!

~Another very dear friend of mine is already planning a yard sale with her friends for Ivan. They live in another state and she has 2 children under 2 years old!!! Yet she is doing what she can for Ivan!

~I walked into church this morning and was greeted with a big hug from a friend...after talking for a few minutes, he handed me a $100 bill for Ivan and said I have had this in my wallet for you!

~Back before Christmas, before I had even seen Ivan's sweet face, a lady stepped up to be Ivan's Christmas Warrior through Reece's Rainbow. She had a yard sale for him a couple of weeks ago (in JAN!!) and with the help of neighborhood kids that I will never meet, she raised $150!!! There is a picture here of these awesome kiddos holding Ivan's picture! I was overwhelmed!

~And just this morning, 2 friends, in conversation, came up with a really fun name for an idea to raise money before Valentine's day using FB! People that already love Ivan, thinking of him...

God provides!!!

More than anything, throughout this process I want us all to see just how big God is and how He is going to work all of this for His glory! Truth be told, I have absolutely no clue how we will raise $27k or more. I have no idea how it will all work out with leaving our children for long periods of time. And the thought of how full our house will be in hopefully less than 6 months could make a sane person run screaming! Again I have no idea how it will all work.

must get the glory for it. I feel honored that He would choose us to play in the game!:) Ivan, as do all of my babies, feels like icing on the cake. God doesn't have to give us those gifts in this life, but He has and I am grateful to be on this journey. And I am thankful for the ways that He chooses to glorify Himself through His people! It shows us that He is real, that He is at work, and that He will speak when we listen! I am in awe today at the work of His hands...continually amazed that I serve this God, that He chose me and made beauty from ashes!

It's TOMORROW!!!

2011-01-26T14:54:00.000-06:00

I am not sure how this is already upon us...but TOMORROW IS OUR VERY FIRST HOME STUDY VISIT!!!!!

I really don't know whether or not I want to squeal with joy because we will be a step closer to our sweet boy or throw up because of the unknown!!

Please pray for us. Pray that it goes well and our children will have fun with it and just be natural with Kelly our social worker. Emily and Timothy both talk about Ivan all the time and I sure hope their love they already have for him shines through. Stella will just give her usual grin, I'm sure!

I am going to finish up some last minute things while my crazy little toddler boy regains his energy for the second half of his day;) Because once he is up...nothing will get accomplished until bedtime. Bedtime...haha...like I will sleep at all tonight!!!

Thanks for all of the prayers! We have received so much encouragement over the last few days (and weeks) and it is keeping us encouraged in ways that is really hard to verbalize, especially without doing the "ugly cry". I can't wait to share some different ways that God's people are surrounding us and already being changed by Ivan's story.

No time to spare...I will update tomorrow!

Just Love Coffee...Don't We All!!!

2011-01-23T22:07:00.000-06:00

I have been dying to get this fundraiser started! We were introduced to this amazing company through our church. You have to check them out! They exist to help with the cost of adoptions! Basically how it works is that you order coffee through our "store" on the Just Love Coffee site. Then you will get delicious coffee (which I can vouch for because we bought some) and we will get money for every bag you purchase. So drink up! Drink coffee all day. Buy it for friends. I mean who wouldn't like a bag of fresh beans and the knowledge that they are helping to rescuing a sweet little one in Eastern Europe! Spread the word!

One of Many Hard Days to Come...

2011-01-21T15:25:00.000-06:00

Today has been a normal day. Nothing really out of the ordinary. But then I began staring at Ivan's picture on RR. Over the last couple of weeks, I have been so busy with all of the paperwork for our homestudy that I have been somewhat emotionless about the whole adoption. I was in a get things done mode and I think I subconciously knew I had to push the emotional part of me aside to be productive.

It hit today. I was not expecting the flood of overwhelming emotion that struck. It was much like what I felt when I first saw his face and asked God if He could really ask this of us. Except now I know that we are on our way to him. I sit here sobbing uncontrollably even as I type this. I want Ivan here. I want to hold him and for him to know he is safe. I want him to be warm and eat a full meal until his little belly is content and I want to hear him laugh. Oh God, I want our son home and I don't know how it is going to happen. I wonder if he is scared today or if anyone held him and stroked his cheeks. Did he get out of his crib at all? The thoughts flood my mind and my heart aches. I don't know that I have ever felt this type of aching and yearning in my heart. And really it isn't even a hurt that comes from me not holding him, just the knowing that he is alone like so many others without his family. He has no idea yet that we are on our way.

Please pray for him today. Pray that someone will be merciful and cuddle him and sing in his ear if he wakes in the middle of the night. Pray that the people of God would hear His voice and respond to the needs of children like our precious Ivan and so many others. This love that God has put in our hearts is undescribeable. Even though I haven't held him yet, I see his precious little face and know that we have got to get to him. If Emily, Timothy, or Stella were languishing in a crib, I would stop at nothing to get them home and this is no different. Today I am surely relying on the arms of our Father to love a son that I have never met but long to hold and it is really hard.

Edited my last post:)

2011-01-11T11:45:00.001-06:00

If you tried to read the last post over the past few days, you may have noticed there were no photos:( I had a little issue with Picassa and had to edit the post but all is well in blog land for me now and the post now has photos. Yay! So, I invite you a second time (or first:) to read below. Included are some precious pics of our big girl...TURNING 5 in three short days!!!!!! I can't believe my baby is almost 5!!!! Big celebration to come..will post pics!:)

Oh and I should mention that I have our VERY FIRST giveaway fundraising item coming up on the blog soon. All I will say is that it is precious and cannot wait to post it. More to come on that...stay tuned:)

Crazy Love

2011-01-11T11:34:00.000-06:00

That is what we are feeling. For a little boy whom we have never met, never held, never tickled, never rocked to sleep, never fed, never whispered I love you to...

I have wrestled with what the follow-up post would be to our announcement. Derek has asked what I would write about. Fundraising, timeline of paperwork, Christmas, Emily's 5th birthday on the horizon...all sorts of thoughts completely flood my mind. There are so many things to think about right now and so many things needing to be done.

For Christmas, Derek and I scaled way back on Christmas presents, as we have for a few years now, and on Christmas morning, he surprised me with two very thoughtful and precious gifts. One was a picture of Ivan. It is in the sweetest frame that has the word JOURNEY written on it and part of Jeremiah 29:11 across the bottom. It now sits on my windowsill in my kitchen:) The other was a copy of "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan with the very simple words, "I Love You!" written on the inside. Besides my children's sweet kisses and hugs Christmas morning, these two things were my greatest treasures that day! I had no idea how that book would begin to impact my heart.

I could quote page after page of that book. It has been just what I needed. I highly encourage you to read it...let it soak in. I promise you will love the Father and desire to know Him and follow Him in a whole new way. Crazy Love. That is what the enemy knows is welling up in us. That is what he wants to quench. He can't though. Greater is He that is in us...My God is big. My God is all powerful. My God speaks. My God is all knowing. The enemy has pressed in over the last few days and let me tell you he is real. Again, I am reminded of the love that my Lord has for His children and I am reminded that God always wins!

This crazy love that we have for our God, that transcends my understanding, is now a crazy love that we have for our son, yes our son so far away and so deeply placed in our hearts. Who else but our God could do that? Who else but a God who gave His son for us? Who else but a God that knew from the beginning of time this journey that we would be embarking upon? Who else but MY GOD? It is a crazy love indeed. A love that is changing all that I ever thought I knew about God. And it is good.

God's love for us was beautifully represented in our (almost) 5 year old daughter's heart as she quietly told me a little over a year ago that she wanted Jesus in her heart and she knew that she had to decide that for herself. She cried as she prayed with me as we laid in her bed together and told me that she knew she needed Jesus and how we needed to pray that Timothy would see he needed Jesus too...that he had sin in his heart and that only he could make that decision. She prayed, "God please let Timothy ask you into his heart too." Precious. Beautiful. So innocent. God has given us another responsibility. We are to care for Ivan so that he too will know the love that Jesus Christ has for him...the sacrifice made on his behalf. So that, even in his "differences" he will walk in a manner worthy of the calling placed on his sweet little life.

I think Ivan is going to change lives. My life. Derek's life. The life of our children. Our friends' lives. Far-stretching to people that we may never encounter in this life. And...I believe that other precious and innocent little souls will be rescued out of lives lived in orphanages and will meet their forever families because of Ivan. God is moving. So is the enemy. But this is what God promises us...

I will carry you when you are too weak.

I will speak truth in love to you and reassure you with My Words.

My Spirit will wash over you and make you new every day.

I will rejoice with you.

And I will hold you with My righteous hands and never let you go.

No doubt that this crazy love that we have for the Father will lead us into some unknown places, but we know that He is already there and already made the way. For this reason, we move on. Steady. Strong. Unshaken. And truly in love. Oh how I love Jesus!

Drawing Near to the Father

2010-12-29T00:05:00.003-06:00

Our last couple months have been full. We have been challenged by the Lord in many ways. We have had opportunities to trust Him and to believe that He answers prayer in very real ways. He hears the cries and pleas of His people and He responds. God has placed some things before us and made us very aware of needs and He has asked us, "Will we go...will we respond...will we sacrifice...will we choose to step out in faith and trust Him like never before?" We said "Yes!" And we have never felt closer to the Father and His purpose for our lives.

This past month has been a time of drawing near to Him in a way that we never have before. There have been times in my life where I have literally had to cling to Jesus because it felt like He was all that was there. He has comforted me and lifted my head. Yet, I have never felt as close to the God of the universe as I have over the past month. The reason...I finally have fallen in love with the things that truly concern my Father! As I have let go of things that have always been so important, I feel so close to the heart of God.

Derek and I have become increasingly aware that our time on this Earth is brief. This fact resonated in my soul even more as I completed Chapter 2 of Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love." He writes: "Friends, we need to stop living selfish lives, forgetful of our God. Our lives here are short, often unexpectedly so, and we can all stand to be reminded of it from time to time. That's why I wrote this chapter, to help us remember that in the movie of life, nothing matters except our King and God." I recently told Derek that I don't want to stand before the Creator of the Universe one day and give reasons why I didn't live the life that He has very clearly called me to. Understand that this isn't a legalistic feeling or response, it is a response of wanting to wholeheartedly serve and sacrifice for the King of all kings!

Derek and I both began to feel this "stirring" in our hearts and souls during a series at our church called Traders. This series really made us question our comfort level, our sacrifice, our passion to live loudly for the God who saved us and created us soley to worship Him. I did not know then what God was doing inside of us, but now I see it and it is beautiful. The way that He has intricately prepared our hearts has been miraculous!

Why God has chosen us, I will never know. I truly feel precious in His sight...that He would call us to love so huge! And can I just say that it feels so good! Deep within every part of my being I feel true peace. Incredible, indescribable, overwhelming peace...truly a peace that passes all understanding. I have never comprehended His presence like I have over the past month. This is the reason why........

This precious face has captivated us in every way you can imagine! His name is Ivan. He is in Rus*ia. He is an orphan. And God has called us to go and get him. He is our son! As much as Emily, Timothy, and Stella are ours...so is he. We already have a love for this precious boy that is so hard to comprehend. The story of how we got to him is a long one. You can read part of it here.

The important thing to know is that Ivan is currently in an orphanage in Ru*sia. We know very little about his conditions. Here is what we do know. We know that he turned 1 in September. We know that he has Down Syndrome. And we know that in Eastern Europe (as is the case in many countries), children with special needs are not given any place in their society. Children there remain in baby houses until they turn 4 or 5 and then they are transferred to institutions. The things that God has opened our eyes to pertaining to these orphanages and institutions is incomprehensible! Every day, God is making us more and more aware of the needs of these special souls. The need is tremendous.

We don't know what his needs specifically will be, but we didn't with our other 3 children either. We don't know how we will fit his therapy needs into our schedule, but we were busy before. We don't know how we will come up with $25,000.00 plus, but God always provides. We don't know how we will manage 4 children under the age of 5, but 3 has been training ground. We don't know what daily life will look like, but who knows what each day will bring. We do know that our hearts are open and that God is able. We know that God has opened our eyes and made us aware of a need and we cannot turn back. We know that we are called to love our God out loud, that we are to respond when we hear His voice. We have heard Him and want to follow.

Please pray for our sweet Ivan! Pray that God would move mountains to bring him home to his forever family quickly...to a mommy and daddy that will love him unconditionally, to a brother and sisters that will embrace him and teach him about family, and to a life that is not in a cold lonely crib in an institution. Our hearts are heavy thinking about his daily life and we ask you to pray for his caregivers and the other children in his orphanage. We begin this journey to rescue our son and ask that you prayerfully join us!

If you would like to read about a child, much like our Ivan, a story of sweet redemption, I dare you to meet this family! You will be blown away by how BIG our God is!

Handsome Boy!

2010-10-21T17:26:00.001-05:00

Nothing much to say...

Timothy is getting more handsome every day...growing into a little boy. He is also getting funnier and funnier! He really is a little nut. His antics and the things he says absolutely crack us up and bring such laughter to our home! And what a love he is! He never runs out of hugs and kisses! We love our Timothy Michael!

My Heart Just Leaps!

2010-10-10T18:11:00.000-05:00

I SURE do love these precious babies!
(I almost got all smiles...my boy is looking a little crazy!)

Somebody is Getting Pretty Fun to Play With!

2010-10-06T12:27:00.002-05:00

Our tiny one is not so tiny anymore! She is becoming quite the little talker and active girl. She rolled over last week (11 weeks) for the first time...tummy to back. She loves to giggle and "talk" to us. Poor Derek is in a house full of chatter-boxes...he doesn't stand a chance!:) We are all loving watching Stella grow and as evidenced by her rolls, she is doing that very well!

TK and Ems are so sweet to her and it is a joy watching their relationships take shape. I think I am finally hitting a season of more rest which is helping with my patience when their relationships are needing some "shaping" from an outside source!:) Haha! Let's just say that Emily hasn't quite embraced Timothy's stage of exploration and curiosity as well as I would like! It takes a lot out of a momma and daddy at the end of the day. But, as I said, I am making the choice to be joyful and have patience. When I am tired, those are not easy choices. I have been humbled while learning that I indeed have to CHOOSE those things! Our babies really are so precious and I am really praying these days that I embrace all of the difficulties and challenges of 3 children 4 and under with grace and joy. I am a very flawed person and have not been doing those things very well, but thank God He offers me mercy and understands EXACTLY what I need and EXACTLY where I am!! I don't know how unbelievers walk through their days...I couldn't do it without the Lord! And not because He is my crutch but because He sustains me. Thankfully I serve a very patient and loving God!...And I have a very forgiving husband and children. I am sure they will all need therapy one day!

Speaking of joy and blessings, here are some pics of the little sweeties!

Oh and our dear friends Kevin and Ginny had their sweet little miracle baby boy! Welcome Bennett!...We cannot wait to hold you! She shared her birth story on her blog (in less than a week after his birth...and she has another son just over 18 months old...sheesh!) and totally reminded me that I had yet to share Stella's and inspired me to get on it!! So, Stella's birth story coming soon!:)

She has the biggest, brightest eyes!

And she loves to smile!

What a chunker! (You should see her thighs:)

TK was sharing his killer whale...he is so cute with her!

2010-10-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

Playing with Big Sister!

Stella is THE most kissed baby in the World!

Right before she turned over!

I Don't Even Know What to Say...

2010-09-30T17:34:00.000-05:00

Do you see these big brown eyes? Do you know what lies beind them? Well...it's pure sweetness and LOTS and LOTS of mischief and trouble. This child is quite literally giving me chest pains! To say that Timothy Michael is sweet is a huge understatement. As I have said before the boy is pure passion!

Today I thought he would push my mommy-freak-out-worry-me-to-death gauge over the limit! Derek and I will describe Timothy's quickness, strength, and curiousity to people and they say, "Aww...he's all boy." Yeah....and then some! You can't fully understand the physical demand of TK until you experience it first hand. In less than 30 minutes this morning, this is what he accomplished. He first climbed into the bathroom sink again (this was after I moved the stool and he moved it BACK for the third time). I redirected and as we are sitting together in Emily's room with my back to him about 1 foot away, he manges to knock off the wooden ladder to the bunkbed. It tumbles to the floor hitting the CD player on the way down. The ladder was fine as was the wall....the CD player was not so lucky. It is totally dead much to Emily's dismay. I discipline him. Maybe 5 min. later, I am again sitting in Em's room on the floor now about 2 feet away from him. He obviously gets bored playing with his "drink machine" walks to the OPEN window and pushes out the screen...COMPLETELY (as in, laying on the ground outside 2 stories down)! You can see where I am going with this. I notice he is quiet, turn his direction, then turn the other direction, see the window and LOSE MY MIND!!!! I strongly discipline him!:) Maybe a change of scenery will help. We go to his room. As I am putting something on his dresser, I turn to see him pushing on his screen!!! Seriously kid...did your mother's wild banshee screaming 2 min. prior not tell you that this was a bad idea?!?! I again discipline him.

Keep in mind this was not even 30 minutes of our day....sheesh! I am just beyond thankful to God that he is okay (as I am at the end of every day). Today was just a little more heart stopping than normal. Am I glad he is currently napping?....ummmmm...YES!!!

Pray for me!:) I need it....Oh Timothy, the stories that I will tell your precious wife one day!

He was mad at me for taking his picture instead of helping him.

Such sweet little stinkers!

Uncle Dana and Aunt Cheryl's Visit

2010-09-24T20:16:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful that my oldest brother and his wife were able to visit and see Em and TK and meet Stella for the first time over Labor Day weekend! We had a really great time and although I didn't get any pics of Emily with her uncle, they had so much fun! What an understatement it is too say that they had a few laughs together. I think one reason that Emily and all of the nieces and nephhews in our family love Dana is because he has a HUGE heart and is really just a big kid himself. He loves to cut up and chase the kids and tickle them. The best part for the kids is that he never really tires of their silly games...he always makes time to play with them! I love it! Aunt Cherly was such a trooper...my kids are nuts and she played with them and laughed and truly enjoyed their crazy antics!
I am also so thankful that they were able to be with us for a really special occassion...more on that later:)
Thank you both for making the long trip down...it was so much fun!!! We love you!

Movin' on up!

2010-09-24T17:18:00.000-05:00

Let me first say that I CANNOT BELIEVE MY TINY BABY GIRL IS IN A BUNKBED!!!! I do not know how she has grown this fast. Even though it is months away, my mind can't even process her turning 5 in January! It goes without saying that Emily was truly beside herself to receive her bunkbed!
Em stayed the weekend about a month ago with my mom and without her having a clue, we transformed her room. When she came home, her room was rearranged with a new bunkbed and new bedding. I loved seeing her face when she walked in! Excuse the pics being so blurry. Because she was bouncing up and down I didn't get good shots, but you get the picture...she was excited! And so was her little brother. It will be so fun when he can sleep in there with her. They have already asked:)
It was necessary for the sake of space, but I think that we would have done it anyway. Emily had been begging for a bunkbed for over a year, way before we even knew about Stella. She is loving every minute of it! Things like this make me miss being a kid! Derek and I LOVE seeing joy like this in our kid's eyes. We are blessed and I am thankful they get to experience things like this!

WHAT Were We Thinking???

2010-09-24T17:02:00.000-05:00

Can you even believe that we put this little nut into a big boy bed??? Although Timothy has been climbing in and out of his crib since he basically left the womb (yes, I am funny), we opened up a whole new world of freedom to him about a month ago! As seen from the post above, Emily had to have some changes to her room due to baby sister's arrival. Derek and I figured we would have to deal with him transitioning to a big boy bed sooner or later anyway so, sooner it was! He actually has done fairly well...certainly a whole lot better than I ever imagined. His new trend though is wearing us out! He has greeted us in the morning this past week as early as 5:45 am!!!! Yes that's right! Now I know I have probably been spoiled in the past, but our kids are typically later sleepers usually not opening their little peepers until at least about 7am. Hopefully it is a phase that will pass! Below are pics form his first day in his bed and of him loving on his baby wearing his superhero cape. And yes that is a kitchen towel clasped around his neck...super safe right?! He and Em both prefer those to the real capes they have...too cute!

Stella Takes a Bottle...AND Loves Her Thumb!

2010-09-24T16:42:00.000-05:00

Not much to say about this except that I am VERY thankful!:) Since neither Timothy or Emily would take a bottle, this was a HUGE deal for us. Shockingly, Stella will even let me give her a bottle! As you can see, the girl also adores her thumb. While I know that will be a whole other issue later, it comforts her so well now that I could truly care less. Every ultrasound we had of her, we got to see her sucking her thumb, so it was no surprise. It is very cute and she couldn't be happier when that little appendage makes it past her lips! Sweet little Stella!

What?...My Baby Boy is 2?

2010-09-16T15:53:00.003-05:00

I remember the day Timothy was born 2 years ago so vividly! Every day with him since then has been so full of something new. Timothy keeps us on our toes...we are constantly trying to keep up with his latest physical accomplishments:), his crazy antics, and his passionate little heart! He is the sweetest little boy ever, giving hugs and kisses to absolutely anyone willing to receive them. His smile is infectious as is his funny little laugh. His heart is sensitive, his will is strong, his curiosity is endless, his strength is shocking, and his passion is huge! He loves to make us laugh, loves to sing, loves to dance, loves to read, loves to explore, loves to say "no way", loves to wrestle with Daddy, loves to test the limits, loves to climb, loves to be held, loves his sisters, loves to eat, loves his friends, loves to be chased, and loves his mommy and daddy...as I said, one thing about our boy is that he has a passionate spirit! We all love him so very much. Timothy Michael you are a joy to everyone you come in contact with. I have prayed since you were in my tummy that you would always have a winsome personality and that it would be used for the Kingdom of God. I think the winsome personality part of my prayer has been answered!:) We pray now that you would see your need for Jesus at a very early age and that you would rise up to walk with Him with humility and grace...that others would come to know Christ through your love and passion for your Lord!

Here are (many:) pics from Timothy's Dr. Seuss Party. My mom made his adorable cake and the fish suckers. Our little guests received Dr. Seuss board books and the fish suckers as treats. We had a fabulous time singing Happy Birthday to Timothy, playing a game with Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You, and reading Happy Birthday to You to all of his friends! We even made the best of the crazy thunderstorm that ended his party, complete with losing our electricity! I sent my first birthday invitation using an Evite...made me sad not to make them this year, but I got over it:) It was a fun party and I'm sure Timothy enjoyed it all! Happy 2 years little buddy...you are PRECIOUS!!!

This was the cake table as we were getting ready for his party.

My mom made these adorable fish suckers and the kids LOVED them...what a hit!

Of course, Timothy was all smiles about his cake that Mimi made for him!

Derek told me I needed to get something fun for the kids to drink so Capri Sun it was! I guess eating healthy is a completely ridiculous thought at a child's birthday party...after all, you only turn 2 once!

2010-09-16T15:42:00.000-05:00

Presents with friends

Patiently waiting for yummy cake!

What a fun crew we had!

Listening to Happy Birthday to You.

2010-09-16T15:37:00.000-05:00

Opening presents...he actually sat still for a few minutes.

Emily and her best buddy Caleb.

I just love this pic of these two...what a sweet thing to see them like this!

This was so funny...Randi Lea had to hold the miner's hat light so that I could change Stella's diaper.

2010-09-16T15:28:00.001-05:00

The boy loved his cake!!

Not a pic from his party but these jammies were a bday gift from Mimi and he is super cute in them!

What an AWESOME gift this was from the Williams! This was perfect for both Emily and Timothy. Needless to say, Bozo has taken a serious beating since coming to live at the Kramers!

Sweet little Sophie dressing up at the end of the party! This was at the end when the electricity was out...look at all the stuff allover the floor...hah!!

Strong Baby Girl!

2010-09-13T18:42:00.003-05:00

Stella is proving herself to be strong like her big brother and sister. No doubt they have all been given Derek's ridiculous strength...I have always been won over by my hubby's Superman-esque abilities! Stella was 9 weeks old yesterday and these pics are from 3 weeks ago! Yep, that's right my 6 wk old baby girl was cracking me up with her neck strength! I seriously couldn't believe she did this. I just laid her on her tummy for a second and this is what happened.

Lots of other fun and wonderful things have been going on here with Em and Timothy too that I am so excited to share! I can't wait to post some of the pics once they are uploaded and to write about what they have been up to.

Even though they are 3 weeks old...they were too funny and cute not to post. More to come...

The Many Faces Of Stella Grace...AKA "Chubs"

2010-08-30T18:06:00.002-05:00

Here she is...our baby girl is already plumping up quite a bit...7 Weeks old today! Stella Grace is growing so much every day and we are loving her to pieces! She is so precious!! She had a great check-up at 1 month and will go back mid September. Once again, we are thankful for a healthy child. Overall, she is doing great. She is smiling a lot and making some new really cute sounds. She is also sleeping a bit longer through the night and really only cries when she has a gas bubble or is hungry. Stella is also proving to be very strong as you can see from one of the photos below. She is a blessing to our family and I am so thankful for her! (I realize little miss is getting lots of blog time today, but my goal is to update on each of the kiddos this way since I was on a bit of a blogging hiatus for a couple of weeks:)

2010-08-30T17:42:00.001-05:00

First smiles...so sweet. Emily gets the biggest ones.

Getting love from "Cole"

How she did this we still don't know! We found her this way during a nap. She was originally placed in the bassinet with her head on that yellow pad. She is a very strong little girl (this was 5 wks. old)

Sweet Sisters! We just loved Stella's arm...just hanging out!

2010-08-30T17:19:00.001-05:00

First bath

Snoozing with Daddy

Emily is a fan of Baby Sister:)

Meeting Halmee for the first time

Check it Out!

2010-08-05T11:46:00.002-05:00

Some of you knew that I was going to answer a few questions for a journalist for Voice Of America (VOA) about the homebirth. He had contacted my midwife and she asked if we would let him interview us. We thought it was just going to be in print but it actually was a video piece as well.

Although I felt like they changed and edited some of my wording to make it sound like our previous experiences in the hospital were a bit more dramatic than what I ACTUALLY said, I thought it was a good overall story on homebirths as an option for some people and I was happy to be a part of it. My midwife Mary Ann is on the video as well...she is awesome!...just in case anyone is in need of a terrific midwife, I'm happy to refer...hehe:)! The link to the article and the video is below. I laughed at the footage of my belly on camera. The skirt I was wearing that day made lines on my belly because of my hugeness and they showed up on camera...haha!! Enjoy! (btw...they included pics of the kiddos too which are really sweet.)

http://www1.voanews.com/english/news/usa/Welcome-Home-Baby--99634994.html

First Day as a Family of 5 at Church!

2010-07-27T15:48:00.000-05:00

We did it!! We actually got out of the house to church...ON TIME...for the first time since our newest little family member arrived! I know some of you are thinking we were crazy or terrible parents to take our 2 week old to church. But, #1 no one held her except for me and Derek, and #2 we really wanted to be with our church family on Sun. morning. We had missed the couple of Sundays previous to Stella's birth b/c it was so hard for me to sit for a long time and Derek had been out of town. I was so desperate for corporate worship and hearing from our teaching pastors. It was so good to hear to worship with the body!

I might add that Stella looked mighty cute! She wore an outfit that my mom bought as her "coming home" from the hospital outfit. After the purchase, Emily reminded me and and my mom that we wouldn't be coming home from the hospital and we both just laughed so hard and said that's right...oh well, it became her first day of church outfit!:) It is so precious and she can wear it for a long time. I finally got a picture with just my girls and of me with Stella. I hadn't even taken a picture with just her yet...crazy!

Aren't our girls sweet? I love Stella's fingers in the last picture. She has really long fingers (not from me:) and I love the way that she never has her fists clenched...they are always laid out very delicately.

I don't want to leave out TK. No pics, but I'll leave you with this visual. Before his nap, just a little bit ago, he was in a diaper and was wearing a kitchen towel around his neck as a cape. I was trying to finish feeding Stella and was in his room with him as he was using his "king sword" (really a long plastic stick that goes to a toy broom) and was growling and saying Goliath while slamming (repeatedly) his dresser drawer. He is such a nut! We are enjoying this season...it is crazy fun!!!

Isn't She Cute???

2010-07-23T16:23:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah...I know. I am so unbelievably biased, BUT she is pretty cute. My friend Mandi gave Stella this little outfit. I couldn't wait to put it on her and today I finally did after she spit-up (a lot) on her first 2 outfits:) It is one of the few newborn things that is tiny enough to sort of fit her. I just thought she was precious!

Cute litte monkey! (New update below)

Stella is Already a Week and 4 Days!!

2010-07-21T18:53:00.002-05:00

We just can't believe that Stella Grace is already a bit over a week old! It goes so fast. We have been soaking up every sweet little moment though. She is an absolute sweetheart! Stella loves to cuddle and loves to be held, but so far will sleep in her bassinet well too. She obviously crys like any baby but even her crys are very mild. She mostly crys when she has gas bubbles which is pretty frequent, but she is getting better about getting them up...or out:) She also gets hiccups 3-4 times a day, which sounds cute, but they wake her up:( For the most part she is sleeping well and nursing well.

Her big sister and brother are really doing well with all of the adjustments with my attention and the amount of time that we have had to be at home. Of course with the heat as crazy as it has been, I don't know that we would be doing a whole lot away from home anyway. We have had friends already this week serve us in such huge ways from bringing us delicious meals to taking Emily and Timothy for playdates. What a blessing it has been to know that Emily and TK are getting to enjoy some time with their best buddies during this transition. I don't know how we would be getting through this time without the prayers and servant's hearts from our friends. Not to mention my mom who stayed with us for days doing meals, grocery shopping, laundry, and playing with the elder Kramer kiddos. I am just so so very grateful for all of the help we have received! My mom is coming again tomorrow so that Derek and I can get away for just a little bit. Like I said...grateful, grateful, grateful!!:)

I am already observing the beginning of such sweet relationships between our children. I just love knowing that forever they will have each other. Both Emily and Timothy have really been loving on Stella a lot and Emily has especially been so helpful. She loves laying next to Stella on the bed so she can sing or talk to her. Timothy is happy with sporadically coming up to her and kissing her gently, then running away!

As for me and Derek, we are holding up fairly well. We are experiencing the usual things that inevitably come with a new baby...lack of sleep, not as much time with each other, trying to juggle our time...BUT I have to say that we have experienced such mercy from the Lord! In so many ways, the transition has felt smooth and very mild. I just don't know how else to describe it. There have been difficult and trying moments without a doubt, but really for the most part, things have felt pretty calm in our home. I can tell I am WAY more emotional and sensitive than normal...poor Derek! Physically, I feel fantastic! My recovery this time feels so much faster than either time before and that is a huge blessing, especially considering Derek and I are outnumbered now!!

That's all I've got for now! I still need to post about the birth which was amazing, but it will take a bit longer and I am still reflecting:) I will say that I am finally past the pain enough to say that I could actually fathom doing it all again!

Here are some pics from the past couple of days....I know that is all that is being looked at anyway:)

Happy Birthday to the Most Wonderful Man!

2010-07-16T18:37:00.003-05:00

Today is Derek's birthday! Yay!! Happy Birthday to my hubby! If you know me, then you know I am a huge fan of birthdays. I think they are really important. I want our kids to know that their birthdays are their very own special days...it is after all the day that God chose for us to come into the world. It should be celebrated. So it is now wonder that it has just been killing me today to not do the normal birthday stuff for Derek. I know we can celebrate it later, but today is his day. Soooo...Happy Birthday Derek! These are just a few of the many many reasons why I love him and think he is pretty awesome!!!

He loves the high school guys he works with so much. They are all getting ready to be Seniors and they have been "his" guys since they were in 7th grade!

This pic is from our LOST Finale Party. We have had one every year and Derek went all out every single time. He is the only guy I know that would go to this extent so that all of his friends could come and really have a great time!

The day before Stella arrived we went to a park and this is just a sample of how much his babies love him. Their daddy literally makes the world spin in their eyes! Daddy is the best to Emily and TK...Stella will find out soon enough:)

What a handsome guy...thank you for choosing me! I am truly a blessed wife!
(More Below!!:)

2010-07-16T17:45:00.001-05:00

I think this photo says it all! This was during part of my labor with Stella this past Mon. I cannot begin to describe how incredible Derek was. He is my rock. I could not have gotten through it without him! I can't imagine how hard it was for him to hear me in pain and he was so calm, gentle, and attentive. He has quite literally had to be my hands and feet...a servant's heart to say the least!

Spending time being patient with Emily...I just love their relationship! It is very very special!

He loves his friends well and their bond is evident of that. Derek is an encourager and holds his friendships very close! I love that character trait in him...he is so loyal!

This picture is a treasure to me. It really speaks of how tender yet strong my husband is! He leads us well and with such strength, but is so very gentle! Children always love Derek!

Derek, you are amazing and I love you more than I could ever tell you. This week has been a reminder of the love that you have for your family. You have served us endlessly this week even when you were exhausted! Even today on your birthday, going to get us breakfast, blowing up pools and buying a water table so that your could children could have a change of pace in a huge week of transition. You blow me away! Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!! AND you will get a cake...in maybe a week or 5!:):):)

See below for another REALLY fun post with pics today!

Lots of Big Brother Love!

2010-07-16T16:19:00.002-05:00

You may have noticed on the first posting of Stella pics that there were lots of Emily holding her but not many with Timothy. He was immediately curious and wanted to look at "Baby Stellya" but was not so much into the idea of holding her. We tried to see if he would the first couple of days without success and then finally on Wed., he came into the room and asked, on his own, to hold her. It was so sweet! He was absolutely precious with her! Timothy doesn't sit still for long but on his own he sat with her and was so gentle. He must have hugged, kissed, and laid his head on her about 20 times. BUT...the absolute funniest thing he did is thankfully captured with a photo!:) He touched his chest and asked if he could feed the baby!! We all just about died laughing so incredibly hard. That kid cracks us up! He actually looked a bit surprised when we said that he couldn't. Sweet little guy.

I feel like we are doing fairly well at this point. Emily and Timothy are both transitioning and there have been some rough spots but really overall I am so proud of them. They love their sister so much already and I really am overwhelmed when I think about the bond that I pray the three of our children will share. God really has blessed me and Derek and we are very aware of His graciousness towards us.

Speaking of blessing, Stella had her first visit with the doc yesterday and she is doing great so far. Her weight had only dropped to 6lbs. 11oz. but in one day was back up to 6lb. 13.5oz so she is nursing well and sleeping pretty well. She has some gas issues at night...poor baby. It is actually pretty funny to hear such a dainty little thing expelling some of the noises that she is capable of! We are just in love with her...she is so so sweet! Thank you again if you have been praying for us! We are so eternally thankful for the support!

We think she's pretty cute!

This is TK asking to feed Baby Stella...haha! Gotta love the hand placement!

He was looking at her so intently and so sweetly.

Pure joy!

Introducing Stella Grace Kramer!!!

2010-07-13T16:25:00.000-05:00

Stella Grace Kramer
July 12, 2010
10:59 am
7lbs. 30z.
20 3/4 inches

...JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS CAN BE!
What a blessing from the Father!!!

We had our baby girl yesterday morning and it was an incredible experience for our entire family! I will share more of her actual birth story later (we are a bit tired:), but for now we wanted to share these pics of our precious girl. If you didn't already know, we had Stella at home and that will explain the pictures. Again, more on all of that later. For now, we would love for you to meet our blessing #3...she is quite wonderful!